I think I'm overthinking......

[ohmygoshisitabat]

DH and I have a couple who are our friends who we've known for 16yrs since our eldest kids were babies. We all get along well. However over the past few years my friend has made me feel a bit uncomfortable. If it's just the two of us without our hubby's she will always compliment what a nice guy my is. Great! Thank you. When she sees my hubby she will give him a big hug (not an issue) but will always say "hey gorgeous" or "hey sexy" or "hey handsome". This makes me feel uncomfortable. We hadn't met up for a while and when she saw him she ran up to him, jumped and wrapped her legs round his waist. I was horrified. I think she was probably joking but it really bothers me. She's slim and I'm a larger lady. I've spoken to my DH about it and told him, he genuinely does nothing to encourage her and has been understanding and agrees he took would feel uncomfortable if it were me speaking to her DH like that. Should I just take a deep breath and get over myself?

He should be the one to address it, not you. Otherwise it puts you in a position of being against her and him. Triangulating in the exact opposite way than you need it.

If he can't confront her in the moment, can he at least message her DH? "please ask Gertrude to reign it in next time, I'm not so keen on being jumped all over."

She sounds absolutely gross and embarrassing. What a twat.

Women like this piss me off, is she the type who goes around saying she gets on better with men than women? There may be a reason for that.

She isn't your friend, and isn't your DH's friend either if she's trying to cause trouble between you.

Hey gorgeous wouldn’t bother me. But that’s our environment. Someone else running up and wrapping her legs round DH? Not a fucking chance!

Your husband needs to be the one marking the boundary line here. So for remarks like 'hi sexy, handsome' etc the response could be, 'yes, my beautiful wife thinks so' and the leg wrapping, 'hey, easy tiger, save that for your husband, not me!'

How does it sound from the 1st post "he's lapping it up" BR?
Shocked or embarrassed maybe

But absolutely she's overstepping.

Tell her straight, behaving like a tart isn't appealing

Because he didn't tell her to pack it in @Seagoats .

OMG no definitely not overreacting! Especially the leg thing. I’d be saying to her ‘hey, what you playing at? That’s so inappropriate’

She’s an attention seeker. Sadly not happy within her own life and attention from others makes her feel better. As long as your husband isn’t encouraging her, take no notice, she wants the attention she’ll get bored once she doesn’t get it

id be all over her husband and having words with mine about boundaries. Im trying to imagine jumping into my husbands arms, wrapping my legs around him without him supporting me in some way. Im not sure i could for any length of time.

Where we did you get from her post that he is lapping it up?! She says he isn’t encouraging it all

Depends on your friendship. With some friends of ours it would be fine. But you don’t like it, and doesn’t sound normal for your friendship, so it isn’t fine at all.

Nor does he seem to be dis- encouraging

Exactly this!

Say ‘Hey, Doreen, the teenage nympho act is embarrassing everyone. Give it a rest, would you?’

Sorry but no.

If I were you I'd call her out on it. "Er what the actual f*ck Mary? Get off my husband you what are you playing at?" People will often push the limits of what they can get away with. She is probably actually trying to wind her husband up and thinks you won't say anything. Simply comment on her behaviour not being OK at the point at which she does something. She will be so shocked and mortified to have been called out for it she will pack it in.

Little of both here.

sounds like you have a few insecurities. We all do, just know they may be colouring your reaction. also, after like early 20’s no one I know is like ‘oooo she’s so skinny and hot’. So I’m sure you’re attractive.

And your friend has some boundary issues!

i hope husband put her down and said ‘what was that?’ Or ‘sorry, only lets I want wrapped around me are my wife’s’

or you said WTF, that’s my man. It’s hard in the moment, cause that’s shocking, but best time to say something.

also I’d guess home life ain’t so good for friends right now. Maybe she’s sexually frustated ? Looking for some attention? A reaction?

very odd behaviour on her part.

Also. Impressive you have 16yo kids and a lady jumping on him didn’t break your husbands back! Mine would’ve been knocked over and in the hospital.

I'd find that irritating

Intuition is something supernatural I believe.
Your intuition tells you something is amiss.
Trust it.You are not overthinking anything.
Your husband should be able to stand up for you and only make you feel comfortable.
If this behaviour is putting you on the edge , your husband should tell her to stop.
Infact he should tell her when you are there just so that she understands boundaries.
If he can't then it means he is part and parcel of the play.

My husband too has a female like that around him.
Only thing is that she has a boyfriend.
My husband and this woman play with each other alot to a point I don't know what's naive and what's not.
I spoke to my husband about it as he went ahead and was stroking her hair one day.
He denied everything and said he had not done it.

He didn't say he was sorry and wasn't gonna do it again.
All he said was that he cannot remember doing it.

A man enough person would apologise and set that boundary to protect you if he loves you.

I wish you all the best in achieving a good level of respect