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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Family in law hell

5 replies

Firsttimemummy23 · 18/08/2024 16:43

Hi I need some hand holding so please be very gentle lol.

I have been with my husband over 8 years and I had a few miscarriages then my beautiful child who is turning 3 this year. I have noticed for a while his family does not speak to me at all when they invite us over and it is getting to the point where its making me very uncomfortable!

I have never stopped my husband nor would I dream of saying to him "I don't want you to see them anymore" its not my nature however I personally now feel like I need to take a step back for my own wellbeing. When I got pregnant with my LO I was always reminded by them and my own mum to be honest that I shouldn't celebrate too early as I had previous miscarriages etc so for nine months I lived in fear then needed an emergency C section where I lost alot of blood.

I found out about three months ago that I will probably lose my ovary due to 6cm complex ovarian cysts and his mother has been telling family members my business etc and over the past two weeks I have been told my SIL is pregnant which is great for them but I notice the different already on how she is allowed to celebrate her news etc while I wasn't due to my previous MC's. I feel like there is no compassion there for me and no care and I honestly don't know what I done to deserve it. I have given my career as a solicitor to be a stay at home mum which I do love being but it is hard and now set up my own business, I am doing this while I am so unwell and yet they are no nasty to me.

I am also concerned they will immediately favourite their new GC over my LO because she is a girl and they wanted a boy with us too and even said "It must come from your gene" so I felt bit like Anne Boyle there lol.

Any advice because I feel so upset and I am wondering if i am in the wrong for being ill and having these miscarriages etc.

OP posts:
crockofshite · 18/08/2024 16:46

Sorry for your losses.

I believe babies sex is determined by the sperm

murasaki · 18/08/2024 16:47

Yes, the only possible deliver of a y chromosome is the dad.

PussGirl · 18/08/2024 16:47

Yes sperm determines sex of baby

Firsttimemummy23 · 18/08/2024 16:51

Not according to Henry 8th mum but that ain't the main problem here lol.

OP posts:
Escapingafter50years · 18/08/2024 16:53

Where is your husband in all of this? His number one job is to have your back and it seems he's failing miserably.

I'd suggest you read Toxic Inlaws by Susan Forward. You might also benefit from looking at the Stately Homes thread here.

It's not you, it's them. I'm sorry for what you're going through.

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