I am nearly divorced. Horrible experience.
The dcs visit their dad. They're with him for 3.5 weeks this summer. They are 17, 14 and 12.
He takes them out, here, there and everywhere to water parks, cinema, into London etc. which all really great fun for them. He never used to do that much at all when we were married. It was always me suggesting and taking them places.
I simply cannot afford to do all that stuff anymore. And in the country in which we live, there's not that much to do in the way of water parks.
He's not a nice man. He's been abusive and violent to me and the dcs are wary of him but they love him and want to see him.
My concern is that when they eventually come home, they will simply not want to live with me because of the humdrum normal life we lead. I mean they do sports twice a week, they have school, their friends. Normal life. And my finances are very limited now. I can't stretch to much tbh.
My 12 year old is particularly susceptible to the idea of living with my ex. Except my ex is prone to hysterics and drama. He can keep it up for a few weeks or months but beyond that, he would eventually let the mask slip. The dcs know this and have watched his hate unleash on me. I truly believe I am the better choice in terms of stability and calm if a little boring.
Should I be worried about the dcs comparing normal life with me versus the seductive visits that are filled with brilliant activities all the time?
Should I strive to do more with them and stretch my finances or just not engage in that way?