New partner insists on paying for ALL my coffee

[kneecole]

I don’t know if he’s just trying to be generous or prove that he’s got money. The thing is he doesn’t drink any hot drinks but he’s delighted that I drink coffee. We often popping out to coffee shops and he always pays for my drinks even when I’ve told him I’ll get my own. He’s offered out of the blue to pay for my coffee when I’m not with him, including the stuff I use at home, even suggesting he’d get me a new coffee machine and mugs.

On one hand he’s quite financially responsible and doesn’t gamble or drink but he seems to go gaga at the idea of funding my coffee bits. I’ve told him to spend the money on himself or on stuff we could both enjoy, but he’s not bothered. He’s said that he enjoys paying for it but I still feel rather awkward that it’s stuff only I’d use.

Am I crazy for thinking it’s a bit much for him? I drink a lot of coffee and probably spend about £50 a month. It’s also making me feel a tad leachy if I think about getting coffee with him as I know there’s no chance he’d let me pay for it.

Does he have some kind of coffee fetish?

It reads like those blokes who buy women shoes....😆

Tell him it makes you feel uncomfortable and for him not to?

Do you think it's just that he's smitten with you and enjoys treating you? If so, that's not exactly a high crime.

You mean he always insists on paying on coffee dates? What about other dates? Sounds like he’s very into you and happy to have a thing he can treat you to.
I knew a bloke that once with gin. I like gin and drink gin but don’t need to be bought gin or gin themed gifts!

It's a bit weird, and maybe you need to think twice about a relationship with someone who won't 'let' you do something - even though in this case it seems like nice generosity.

It's said that it's a good idea to say 'no' to a partner about something - something quite trivial - to see how they react.

I think it’s a nice thing for him to do, he knows it’s something you enjoy drinking. When I first met my husband, I loved shopping and he would spend money on me every week, much to his Mums annoyance. Is there anything he likes doing that you could return the gesture.

He can’t prevent you doing anything, OP. Pay for your own coffee if you want.

He's probably read the mn threads that tell op to ditch if they don't buy you coffee!! 😆

Yeah, a boundary is a boundary, not respecting it is a bag sign even if he is doing something g 'nice'.

Bad, not bag sign

How very odd!

I was going to say what @SallySunrise said.

He's probably noticed that you have a thing for coffee and wants to buy you what you love.

My partner loves chai lattes, so there's one every day for her, and when I'm away I'm sure to get one delivered via Costa.

I'd see this as him paying attention and wanting to please you.

My ex used to go out of his way to buy me things he knew I would love all the time, and was really insistant that i had these things as " he could afford it".
At first, I just thought he was kind, etc, but 4 years down the line, I realised it was actually more about control and became really unpleasant. If it makes you feel awkward, don't put up with it.

This. But pre empt him by buying the drinks first, presumably you know what he likes?

^^ this 😂😂

I don't think there's any bad intentions behind it. He's not a very controlling or jealous person at all. I'm more worried he's making this offer without considering how much it'll actually cost and I'll be taking advantage if I accept

I've never heard of a coffee fetish and he's the polar opposite of a sex pest, but he did once let slip that he "enjoyed" watching me drink coffee 😱😂

How new a boyfriend is he?
Maybe he's the sort of person who stereotypes people so he feels he knows them better. He thinks coffee is your "thing" and will lavish you with coffee related items until you tell him otherwise.
Try telling him you've given up coffee and see how he reacts?

We've been together just over a year.

The fact that it's specifically coffee he's so obsessed with. But doesn't drink it at all?
That does seem odd. Unless he just thinks you love coffee and is trying to find something to impress you? I think when people go for coffee, they usually only have one. Or two maximum. It's not like someone buying all the alcoholic drinks on a night out. So it's not like it's costing him fortunes. Next time just go up to the counter and order your own and pay. He can't exactly physically prevent you from doing so?

He has latched on to something you like and wants to make you happy by buying LOTS of it.
Bit like with those people who mentioned they like frogs once and get bought frog items forever more!

Seems like quite a small thing? I’d take it as he’s trying to show he’s not a tight fisted twat tbh.

BUT you should LTB and send him my way. Spent £30 already on coffee this weekend and could definitely put your DP to good use 😃

My DH does this. After 25 years it's reached the point where I have to threaten him with death to stop him buying me more coffee mugs. He still sets up the coffee machine for me every day before he leaves for work.

He's autistic so I think it's just his way of doing something nice.

I'd just take all the free coffee 😂

Sounds like he's trying to but your love