AIBU??????

[nestingok]

I'm 20 weeks pregnant with 4th baby
3 kids at my mums so we planned date night.

he didn't speak to me in the car on the way to the restaurant. Felt hostile? Warmed up in the restaurant a bit. Had a laugh.

I really made an effort with my hair makeup etc he never commented.

Anyway came home.. he lays down & watched boxing for hours and doesn't say a work.
I start to cry and he says what's wrong now??? I can't deal with emotional people.

I'm on the sofa :( in a blanket crying my heart out.
I feel ugly, un seen and not very loved
Bloody date night and he's just selfish I feel.
I remember the days he kissed me so much.
He couldn't keep away from me.

I keep feeling like he's got interest elsewhere as it clearly isn't with me

You are not being unreasonable at all! You are 5 months pregnant and feeling vulnerable and you need to feel cherished and special. Is your dh usually attentive? Is he a good dad?

3 kids and 1 on the way? I can well understand why his past romantic streak has long gone. He's a worn out dad, prefers the couch and an evening of boxing on the telly.

Have to agree with this. I love my husband but my God when we have a night off I love nothing more than lounging on the sofa in my pj’s binging a tv show in peace😂

The 3 kids are actually mine guys. This baby is the first together. He's not a worn out dad. Yet.

How long have you known him op? What’s he usually like.

I hate to think of you crying.

Crying your heart out? That must be pregnancy hormones! Did you talk to him? What were you expecting? A romantic movie perhaps? Did you tell him? It's pretty passive aggressive to just sit there then burst into tears.

2 years. Was very loving, romantic at the start. Sometimes he's good now, sometimes he's horrible to me. Really horrible x

Did he move in with you? Maybe now his feet are under the table the mundane family life has hit him. Romance soon dies with all the kids in the mix.

When you say he's really horrible to you sometimes, what do you mean? Abusive?

Calls me names yes x

2 years together and your 5 months pregnant and he's moved in with your dc. He's verbally abusive and doesn't give a damn. He has a load of red flags. You didn't know him properly before moving in and having a baby. He's showing you his true self.

Please be careful. There are so many red flags waving away in your OP and update.

Fucks sake turf him out. Bastard.

2 years together and your 5 months pregnant and he's moved in with your dc.

Nothing more to be said. Get rid of him.

Is he abusive to you in front of your other children?
What do they think of him?

Why on earth are you having your fourth baby with this man?

He's a dick and you are a fool to put up with him. Get rid!

Your mum is supportive. That's huge, that you have someone to babysit.

You can do this without him, if needs be.

You don't need a man to have a happy ending and he sounds horrible.

He sounds abusive. What man who loves his partner sees her crying, when she’s pregnant with his child and doesn’t comfort her but instead complains that he hates emotional people? You also say that sometimes he’s nice and sometimes he’s horrible. This sounds like the cycle of abuse. Read up on it. Also read this

https://dn790007.ca.archive.org/0/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf

A lot of abusive men ramp up their abuse when the woman gets pregnant because they think she is now trapped and they don’t have to hide their true nature.

Do you have any family or friends you can tell what’s been going on with him being horrible to you? You really need support right now. Does he live in your home or do you both own the house/both names on lease? If it’s your home I would urge you to tell him you want him out. Then block him everywhere. Speak to women’s aid for support. If his name is on the lease or he half owns the house, apply for an occupation order so you and the children can legally remain in the property and he will have to move out. You’re so vulnerable right now and he is being awful. You don’t deserve this and you don’t have to accept it either. You’re better to split up and be happy raising your children than to be with an abusive man who makes you feel like crap and whose behaviour will affect your children.

Op please get rid of this man. He's only going to get worse. Put your children first.

Are you ok OP? How did last night go? How are you this morning?

I always say nobody should commit in less than 2 years. That’s the time it takes for the lust and excitement to wear off.
Not helpful now I know but don’t be one of those who refuses to make a hard decision because of embarrassment at being seen to have made a bad choice.
You're seeing the real him now. Up to you if that’s good enough. We don’t have all the details but doesn’t sound great.

Get rid of this man before he ruins your children's childhoods. None of this is going to get any better.