HATE MY EX

[claireybear]

To cut 3 years short,met guy got pg after 3 months (accident,on the pill for 7 yrs!) I didnt want baby was happy climbing the career ladder and doing a good job,he convinced me that it would be the best thing for us,we were madly in love at this point (due to the fact we were in the honeymoon stage lol) He turned out not to be the nicest of people,very very selfish,told me after 4 weeks of having babes he cheated (snogged) someone when I was 5 mths pregnant and then 3 wks after had babes,we split for few mths,got back because I did love him and knew he wouldnt do it again,then 6 mths later we split for the last time because he was just nasty. I now have a boyf and he has a girlfriend,my problem is that although I do adore my daughter I am annoyed that i listened to him about having a baby and feel slighlty resentfull. I have the baby 6 days and nights a week,he has good job,relationship (I can only do anything 1 night a week),I want to start a new job but cos he works shifts I have to work it around him,really annoys me,I cant stand him!!! Im so peed that I will have contact with him for the rest of my days,how the hell am i gonna cope????? Does it get any easier???

Do you have any family or friends who can watch her for a day of the week? Or simply it him down and tell him what you just told us. Giving up 2 days a week for a child that he wanted more than you can't be too much hassle surely?

the funny thing is when I have brought up the subject of me getting pregnant he has actually had the audasity to say that I didnt take the pill on purpose (seriously if u knew me I never wanted to children)! I ran successfull nightclubs,why would I have wanted children lol! He is just a waste of space,as he is living at home its not even him who looks after her,his mum and dad do,so again he completley diminishes all his responsibilities,its so annoying!!!

Not much you can do now and there's loads of women in your position. You can't make some want to be responsible for their child, they either are or they're not. Small consolation I know. It does take two to tango but save your breath for better things than arguing with him. XCan you get someone else to mind your child whilst you work?

How awful you must feel so tricked, if that's the right word. Just do what you can to get some extra help with her, ask his parents (not him) if they can maybe have her for one night a week to help you out abit seeing as he is so unwilling to? Or your parents? Men eh

One day you may be glad you met him because at least you had your daughter (even if the process did tun your life upside down) out of it.
But it does sound like you need to organise a bit more "time out" if the finances permit it for now.
It gets better / less of a monotonous grind as they get older too.

Im actually crying,tricked is such the right word,that is exactly how I feel,although I really adore her Ive gone from a manager of successfull company to another income support statistic gggrrrrrr I just want to provide the best for her now but feel its very difficult to have a great bond with your child and hold down a great job,men...bastards...! x

Don't cry it'll get easier, especially as she gets older and can spend time in nursery/day care etc. Keep your chin up, although he's left you in the shit, he's also left you with a beautiful baby girl who will grow up to be so grateful for everything you have done for her

Would it help a bit to work on the relationship with his parents, thus cutting him out of the loop? They sound like they care as they already have her a day a week. He is nasty so you may find in the future you dont want her to have too much to do with him. Maybe instead of one day a week they could have her two afternoons, and she could do two mornings of nursery, or work towards something like that. As she gets older it will become easier and in a few years you will have your career and a great daughter and will be extremely happy.