can you honestly get back with your x after he cheated?

[LoneLou]

My problem is I split up with my X 4 months ago, he moved straight into her house, shes now pregnant but he wants to come back to me to start again.
We have a 5 year old boy.

sorry forgot to say I am seriously considering having him back, I love him but my head is telling me no?

If he can walk away from you an your son, get someone else pregnant - an then walk away from her an their child.. what makes you think he wont do it to you again?

Hardly the type of person i'd want around my child if i'm honest.

Not really anyonesplace to say what you should do but Iwould seriously consider what will happen when the baby is born. It would be awful for your son if his dad left again. Horrible dilema for you.

I couldn't, but many do. It's so personal and depends on so many things.

How is he going to make it up to you?
Are you going to be able to cope with the other child and the woman - they are tied to him for life now, money, visits....
Will you ever trust him again?
What if he does it again?
What's to stop him going back and forward between the 2 of you?
so many things for the 2 of you to talk over. I say it every time, but a professional therapist/mediator/referree!! is what people need at times like this.

"shes now pregnant but he wants to come back to me to start again." Has he told her this?

I mean, is he planning an escape but if you say no will stay with her? Sounds very dodgy to me. If he wanted you back seriously he would have left her and sorted himself out before asking you to take him back.

oh my god girl...no no no my ex cheated and I took him back but everytime he went out I was paranoid,everytime he was on the phone i tried listeneing etc etc,left me an emotional paranoid freak,my advice would be to listen to your head,it should always rule your heart!!! He will have to be in the other gals life if she is having his baby,how are you going to feel when he's off visiting his other child???? carefullxx

I agree with what your saying. I just love him you know never really stopped loving him thats why its so hard.

You probably never will stop loving the father of your child - but you will get over him. He's not only left you an his son, he's now left or planning on leaving someone he's just gotten pregnant. That'll always be a part of his life now as others have mentioned. If you can handle that, and trust him not to walk out again - then by all means go for it. Does he have some sort of responsibility phobia?

Just remember that just because you love someone, it doesn't always mean you're supposed to be together

Very well said above,surely in the back of your mind that girl he has pregnant will be left a single mother (and she probably doesnt know a thing. Thats no decent man! You may love him but does he really love you,thats what you need to find out,they are easy words to say but he needs to live up to that!! x

Is he living with her right now? Does she know he is suggesting this to you?

I think you can get over the cheating - but now there will be another child involved she will never be out of your life and i would say that the only way to go forward is to make sure she is out.

Is it because he is feeling trapped now?

It will be a long hard journey for you and i too would suggest that you get proffesional help here.

Also dont feel you have to make a decision now - he has alread had 4 months to get his head straight - take as much time as you need to make the right one for you.