Is this something I would need to tell my boyfriend?

[Orinoco1]

My boyfriend and I broke up around 6 months ago and are now giving it another go.
during those months apart I had a few weeks ‘fling’ with a long ago ex of mine, it was just a physical relationship for me but he would have liked it to be more.
should I tell my boyfriend about this? This is an ex my boyfriend didn’t particular like because he lives local and we would have seen him a lot around town

to add- my boyfriend has said “whatever we have done in that time apart isn’t eachother business” but I do feel like he would be cross if I kept this from him

Do you know everything about what he did in the last six months?

Do you want to know?

Nope, not his business

However, ex"s are ex's for a reason and I probably wouldn't have gone back.

From what your boyfriend said it sounds as though he has also had some " flings" during your separation as well.

You were a free agent at that time so no need to feel guilty and no need to tell him.

No and I wouldn’t want to know

Yours is the first answer. Why are you quoting the op?

@Orinoco1 - why not just take what he said at face value? He’s obviously done stuff he doesn’t particularly want to share with you. Why do you feel you have to share this with him?

I wouldn’t be that keen to volunteer the information. I guess it’s complicated a little by the fact that the fella is local. If you think it’s likely your bf might find out might be best to get ahead of the situation and come clean. Otherwise it doesn’t seem like it would benefit anyone to share what happened.

I probably wouldn't but is there are chance your ex-ex will tell your now non-ex ? You say you live local - any chance they would bump into each other in the pub etc ?

I probably would tell him, just because it feels like it could come out eventually and it'd be better to deal with it now than wait for it to be a problem later. Find out if it's a problem now before you waste anymore time with him.

I suspect he has had his own fling or two and may suspect you have. He may even suspect it could be the ex (local whisperings or saw you together). He's deliberately said 'whatever's happened, I don't want to discuss it', no exceptions. I would respect and accept this and relax. If it was his brother that may be a different conversation but it's not someone important to him, just an ex of yours who isn't his favourite person. You didn't cheat and he doesn't want to picture you having sex with this man so leave it alone. Leave it in the past and give this a good go with your partner.

my boyfriend has said “whatever we have done in that time apart isn’t eachother business” but I do feel like he would be cross if I kept this from him

I would take his statement at face value and that it is none of his business. But the fact you think that his stance is that what he's done is none of your business, but what you've done is his, isn't great.

@Orinoco1

Not that you asked, but I think you're making a mistake getting back with him. Why did you split up ?? Why is that no longer an issue?? (Obviously you don't have to say in here, but do give it some thought).

loving someone is a choice, not a fact.

HE said what you BOTH did while apart is none of the others business. So he has no right to be cross about it, or about you not telling him. Are you ok with not knowing what he did? It's not just his decision.

But what's to tell? They had a thing whilst split and the partner has said he doesn't want to know. If DP hears from ex then I don't think it'll be a huge awful shock or betrayal he needs warning about. Best left alone I'd say. If ex pipes up, discuss then. I suspect DP has considered this possibility.

And brutally honestly, I know you didn't ask this but it doesn't sound the firmest footing. Splitting up, getting back together, both by the sounds having flings, ex on the scene. I'd say if this doesn't work out, widen your horizons when dating next.

As someone once said "We were on a break!"

No, he’s said it’s not either of the other persons business so I would follow that.

I share the general consensus that given his previous statement and the probability of him having slept with other people, it would probably be best not to raise it. Why do you think that you potentially should?

These were my thoughts. I don’t think you’re being brutal! Just factual.

There's your answer then.

Don't tell him.

It doesn’t really matter as the OP was a free agent at the time.

No - it's none of his business and he has no right to be cross about it form the line - that would be a red flag if he did find out and was pissed off, either about you doing it or not telling him.

He's said he doesn't want to know so that's that. He probably also doesn't want you knowing what he did either.

Yes. Bit of a red flag that on his 'break' he can shag whoever and it's not discussed and you're not angry (all fine so far) but you have different rules? I wonder why?

Given he said, "Whatever we have done...", it doesn't sound like he "can shag whoever" or that she has "different rules" at all.

This is coming from her.

In these particular circumstances, i probably wouldn’t mention it because he has already stated that what happened when you were apart is irrelevant.
This would mean with 99% certainty that he also had sex with other women while you had broken up - he wouldn’t have said it otherwise.
So you both had some fun with others, can put it behind you and move on without saying anything.

The rule is women forgive men don't. If you want to end this relationship just tell him and move on. If you did blabber there is 99.9 chance that your relationship will end, it's just a matter of time. Seriously, IF you wanted this relationship to go on you both would not have slept with anyone else period. He cheated on you. Grow up, move on, do better.