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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Drunken kiss, been with partner 7 years.

31 replies

LivelyViewer · 16/08/2024 21:55

Hi,

2.5 months ago I was out with mates. Got hammered, worst in years. Me and my mates got talking to a group of women (potentially do as mum and aunties were out) and it was joking and abit of flirting at times from all. No intent beyond chatting from anyone. I went to the bar, and one of the girls followed. I turned around from ordering and she kissed me and I didnt stop it as quick as I should have, maybe 5 or so seconds. She tried again a few minutes later as I turned around with drinks but I immediatley said no and pulled away. I spoke to my friends and said we need to move on soon, no one saw from either party. I wanted to remove myself from the situation asap. I remembered her name so blocked her on social media platforms. I dont think any names were remembered by the girls as they never asked.

Anyway, since then I have just felt so rotten and ashamed. I have been with my fiance for 7 years and she is ACE. I have promised to use this experience as a learning point i.e. not getting that drunk again in that environment. I rarely do anyway but I won't again. I just feel so guilty and I don't know whether to tell her. We are so happy and I feel like me telling her is for my own relief and 7 years would likely be wasted over a totally meaningless kiss. She will have heartbreak for nothing and I will he equally heartbroken. It sucks.

Advice please..

OP posts:
Comedycook · 17/08/2024 13:46

If you genuinely regret it and will never do it again, then don't tell your fiancé and just forget about it.

Personally I wouldn't want to know.

NetflixAndKill · 17/08/2024 13:53

Kerensab · 17/08/2024 13:15

Interesting that you recall her name but I love that you realised your boundary was crossed by a stranger with the potential of throwing all of your life away with your fiance.

Tell her exactly like you have told it.She threw herself at you and you evaded her.Leave the blocking her out of the story as this raises concerns over how you even know her.

Tell your Fiance because you will grow closer from this mistake.I'm sure if she loves you she will forgive you.Especially because you feel horrible about it.

I am saying this because the same thing happened with my husband.Only difference is that he initiated a quick kiss with an older woman and had his female Uni friend sit on his lap while I watched.He didnt need to tell me as I saw it.Whe I spoke to him about it,there was no remorse from him and infact he said that his childhood female friends can carry on sitting on his lap until he told them not to.This is his way of being endearing to them. Having them on his lap and also kissing their lips.

So there you go. I love and appreciate your guilt and remorse.
Tell your lady and she will find a hero in you

Well this thread got strange quick.

Yvetterodriguez · 17/08/2024 14:00

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

fuckingbastard · 17/08/2024 18:11

Get over it ! Already ! You felt like a deer struck by headlights. So. You just realized that your Missus is not called Missus and even drunk you are in it for the long run. Congrats. You already did the engagement thingy how about you prepared the real thing with the vow the family, friend and alii ? I won't mind an invite Sir. Let's save the date

DadJoke · 17/08/2024 18:16

fuckingbastard · 17/08/2024 18:11

Get over it ! Already ! You felt like a deer struck by headlights. So. You just realized that your Missus is not called Missus and even drunk you are in it for the long run. Congrats. You already did the engagement thingy how about you prepared the real thing with the vow the family, friend and alii ? I won't mind an invite Sir. Let's save the date

Are you day drinking?

fuckingbastard · 17/08/2024 19:26

DadJoke · 17/08/2024 18:16

Are you day drinking?

Worst then that. I am teetotal. Can you imagine ? 7 years fiance and this not on the other hand crazy shit. Why is the man pushing away young unassuming ladies (no ring, right?) while his heart is set on stone ? Things that makes me go Hummm.

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