I have slowly become quite unhappy over a period of time because my husband is utterly selfish and I am fed up of making allowances and excuses. Every single thing about what we do revolves around him and his activities and despite trying to communicate my needs and what I would like, it changes for a short time and then reverts back. He will openly admit to being selfish. An example will be that he will think nothing of going out on a 12 hour drinking session and returning home and waking me up, even though I have asked him not to do that, as when I am woken up in the early hours I struggle to get back to sleep again. He is always very nice when he wakes me up and says he is just saying hello but it is irritating at 2am. If I went out with my friends for 12 hours believe me I would not hear the end of it. Another example is he will routinely cook for himself and make something to eat and not offer to make anything for anyone else (me) even though I offer every time.
I cannot believe this but I have become a total doormat and I need to know how to make things more balanced again. I have started to opt out of these long sessions in the pub. I don't like drinking heavily and to be quite often I find long stints like this quite boring. More often than not I either don't go, or I leave early on my own. Either way I end up spending a lot of time on my own. Ditto for events and things he wants to go to that I either can't because of work or because I am not invited.
Another example is a party that we have been invited to in a few weeks time. I can't make the start time of the party due to my working hours, so he will go on his own and I will join later. I don't think it would hurt to wait for me so that we could go together, but that's out of the question, and now I feel like not going at all.
Writing this down makes me feel absolutely pathetic. Before we were together I was full of confidence, made my own decisions and felt capable of doing plenty, since we have been together I feel that I have been undermined so much that I have zero confidence and self belief. How do i get this back? Thank you in advance for any supportive advice that any of you had! X