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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Boundaries overstepped

3 replies

natel · 16/08/2024 11:20

My colleague left work yesterday. I felt really upset as he was a nice person and helped me with the work overload. Though a lot of times he really got me down as he was always venting about the organisation and the manager bullying him. I know I am a good listener but it was the same conversations and I feel he should have gone to a counsellor.

I will miss him but feel my mental health will improve now. He vented to others but in the end they stopped speaking to him or were blunt with him. It is not good to be associated with someone who always complains. What is the best way to shut down people like this in future? I don’t want another energy vampire on my hands.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 16/08/2024 11:23

Don’t engage in non essential work conversations. If they persist tell them you’re busy and don’t have time to chat.

Gettingbysomehow · 16/08/2024 11:31

You don't allow it. I had the same with a female colleague. I got so sick of it I just said straight I cant cope with the endless complaining its making me ill. Have you thought about seeing a counsellor. If anyone else tries it I just shut them down and change the subject then tell them I need to get on with my work.
I'm older though so it's easier.

natel · 16/08/2024 11:34

Nearer the end other colleagues would step in and tell him I was trying to do my work. I know I should be saying that myself but it is good they felt they should help me out.

OP posts:
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