No backstory other than my youngest daughter is turning 3 a day after her eldest cousin turns 22 in September. I made a suggestion to my sister in law whether we could get together for a bbq with family to celebrate their birthdays. I said I could buy a cake and bring with us. SIL shot me down straight away so said that’s fine no problem as I couldn’t be bothered to argue seeing as she was hosting.
I know there is a massive age gap between them and my niece is doing her own thing (rightly so at that age) but I’ve had a further text message from SIL saying my BIL doesn’t want to celebrate their birthdays whatsoever and it’s just a family bbq. I just find it so strange that she’s had to reiterate this to me and say BIL is totally against anything birthday related. I had already said that’s fine. I’m just struggling to understand why they needed to keep reinforcing this to me? We are doing a few separate things for my daughter’s birthday anyway so isn’t a massive deal. I don’t know if I’m looking too deeply into things but I’m now finding it a bit hurtful to be honest. My OH said to just ignore the message and just carry on as normal.