Friendship v romance

[Carrydaily25]

i married very young to someone 7 years older. I’d been through turmoil. Wanted someone sensible. The first 10 years we laughed so much. I got more and more senior (so did he) but his role is more active mine is 50 hour weeks at desk. It’s 25 years later. I’m overweight and he’s always tired, unhealthy but not fat. I have more energy. We had a romantic weekend booked. It’s hit me like a tonne of bricks. He doesn’t ’want me’ like he used to. Sex is perfunctory and me instigating. I’d taken photos and was showing him. He said ooh my belly looks horrible and if we’re having a photo fight look at this. It was a photo he took on our anniversary dinner and I thought I’d looked nice. It felt like someone had shrunken my chest and pulled a rug all in one. I’d really made an effort. I said this and he got arsey saying I’m just trying to pick a fight.

can you be married to someone who clearly thinks your fat and ugky?

Hmm, I imagine after 25 years it's a bit deeper than looks. If you know you don't look like you did when he met you, you can't expect him to look at you the same sexually surely? Do you still fancy him the same? It sounds like he's very comfortable with you, which is arguably far more important. Sounds like you could both do with getting in shape to improve life overall!

I don’t expect him to look the same. But i still want a sexual relationship. But it’s me pursuing it. I was showing him the photos I took. He took umbridge at his tummy. I did not. It’s just him. He then said if we’re having a photo fight look at this… and one of them was me dressed up at our anniversary dinner. I thought I had looked nice. He obviously thought I looked bad enough to poke fun at. It hurt so much it felt like it winded me.