Boundaries

[Kerensab]

What would you do if you spotted your husband playing with his guy friends girlfriends hair?

Also what would you do if you went to a party of his old school mates and one of his female friends sat on your husbands lap?
At the same party he kissed the lips of the mother of the party girl.
What would you do?

I'm assuming this is new behaviour and he hasn't always been flirtatious. I would find it a bit weird and wouldn't be happy about it at all. Playing with someone's hair is very intimate as is a woman sitting on his lap.

Sadly when I asked him about the hair touching ( he denied it).

When I asked him about the lap and kiss this is what he said which broke my heart

"That lady is an old friend, she came and sat on my lap without warning and I couldn't tell her to come off.Also this has happened before as we are friends and will possibly happen again.
As for the kiss on the lips yes I remember that happened.

This response broke my heart.There is not an ounce of an apology.

What should I do if not leave him?

Seems like your husband is a flirt

I am sorry but this is totally unacceptable. I do not think you can do anything, this is his nature and he is not going to change. How long have you been together? I think you will have to leave as you obviously cannot accept this kind of behaviour.

I would ask how he would feel if you did all of those things - and if he is bothered by it I would say you didnt like it and would like him not to do those things again.

Or leave him. It's fine to be tactile, but those things are not something I would be comfortable with.

Just be clear that you don't like him flirting with other women and would appreciate it if he stopped as it's disrespectful.

I would be extremely angry and upset about your DH's response. If he didnt want the woman sat on his knee he could have told her so. Bad enough that he didn't do that without saying he will do it in the future.
And then kissing other women on the lips and playing with their hair?
This is all totally inappropriate behaviour for a married man, or any man in a committed relationship. Just so disrespectful to you. He thinks he can still play the field and behave like a single man.
I wouldn't feel secure and safe in a relationship with such a man. If he behaves like that openly in front of you goodness knows what he gets up to behind your back.

We have been Married 4 months now.
I thought I am being insecure and have really had days without sleep just gathering confidence to speak to him about this behaviour.

I am so upset and don't know how to bring this up again as his last words were no solution at all. 😢

I was so perturbed by his answer that I didn't say a word when he gave his answer.
I still have not brought it up again.
Thing is everything we have this kind of chat he goes to his mums and vents to them.
I moved to Brussels 4 years ago and have no family here hence all by myself.

Really don't know whether to even bring it up again.He has no boundaries and I feel like I either be quiet and let him do what he wants to do with his friends or find my way out of this disrespect.

Need more insight into this.I am worried about my kids to come.
Worried about them seeing their dad have women sit on his lap, him kiss anybody on the lips and him playing or stroking women's hair.
How will they have boundaries if their dad is the town stroller?

Why on earth would you consider children? Sounds insane

OP, I don't think he's going to change. If I were you, I'd leave him. Or at least tell him that his behaviour is unacceptable and that you're going to leave him unless he changes.

Omg. You need to leave him. Immediately. And not have children with him. Else you will have a lifetime of misery with such an awful person who treats you with no respect. Pack you bags and come back to the UK. I’m so sorry you are going through this.