My brother needs to grow up. What do I say to him?

[ValsCupcakes]

My brother has his birthday next week. He's 34. He's also silly. He does a lot of daft things. He drinks too much and gets silly and fools about. His wife likes a drink socially too and can also get giddy. They have a young son. The worst thing he did was filming our mum in his car when she couldn't get up because the back of the seats were so far back and she's got mobility and eyesight problems and is also diabetic. He filmed it and started laughing about it. He put it on Facebook too but it wasn't there for long as his wife made him remove it. When our mum challenged him he just laughed as he thought it was funny. They do bicker quite a bit, her saying he doesn't respect her and he tells her to lighten up. He has his car seats like he is a boy racer.

He has a responsible management job and is well liked at work. On Sunday night I was at their house watching the Olympics closing ceremony and he was trying to get me to have an alcoholic drink or two and calling me mardy. I'm not teetotal but I don't drink much, I had to drive home and my job involves driving too so I rarely drink in the week.

How do I tackle him?

No I am single, no kids. He's great most of the time, just he gets so silly. Taking the piss out of our mum has crossed the line big time.

Tell him he's immature, that your mum doesn't like his behaviour and leave it at that.

He's not your responsibility

I think all you can do is stand up for your poor mum when he treats her badly. I don't think there is anything you could say to him that would shake him out of his silliness and inspire him to be a better person, that change has to come from within.

Don't tackle him over this. It won't change him, only he can do that. He's silly and immature and may grow out of it in time but may not. Do not respond to his 'jokes'. If he continues to pressure you to drink, give him one warning then, if he persists, leave. Mute him on social media.

Just don't spend time with him. 🤷🏼‍♀️

No need to ‘tackle’ him, just don’t spend time with him if you don’t like his ways. he’s not your project to reform. Spend less time with him and if he asks, tell him why. Reward good behaviour with your presence/attention, ‘punish’ bad by withdrawing your presence.

I agree with a pp that filming and posting on SM his own mother with impaired vision and mobility problems struggling to get out of his boy raver car isn’t ‘silly’, it’s cruel and intended to humiliate.

This happened again yesterday. I got a text from our mum last night. He invited her for a meal and picked her up, then dropped the seat back when she was in the car. She was very angry and upset and told him to grow up, she was sick of being the brunt of his jokes and that it wasn't funny. All the while he was pissing himself laughing.

She said the next time he does it she will get out of the car and go back in the house (which is difficult, she has mobility and eyesight issues). The seat was laid back almost horizontal going to their house and pulled too far forward going home so she couldn't get in the seat. She said she's told him "enough is enough" and he needs to grow up, he thinks it is funny. He apparently does it to his wife too.

I've had it with him and I don't really contact him much now even though he only lives three miles away. I pushed a birthday card through his letterbox for his birthday and that was it.

The problem is, if she refuses to get in the car he might be difficult and she won't get to see him or her grandson any more.

On a separate note. She has nine steps up to her front door and I want to look at getting those removed and a slope/ramp and handrail put in instead.