To start, he does not live with me and is much younger with no kids of his own. He feels my daughter is a spoiled brat and that she is rude to me all the time. Which is not true. It has been my daughter and I together since I split from her father. We have our way of doing things. However, he gets on my case when she talks back, well when he feels she is talking back. He comes from a Chinese background and a single mom who wasn't there much. Anyway, he is on my case about everything about her. When she and I are having a conversation about something, he inserts himself in that conversation which frustrates me but stresses out and frustrates my 13 year old because he tends to be/sound condescending. He and I have been dating for almost 3 years and we aren't really going for the long run here. I feel like he should mind his own business, but he is basically saying I am raising her to be a rude brat. I do not yell at my child, I talk to her when she has done something wrong. I don't enforce a lot of punishment as she doesn't do anything worthy of punishment. If she does it is not allowing her to have a friend over or taking away her phone. The worst part is when I am not doing what he feels I should be doing it turns into this HUGE and I mean HUGE fight, mostly on his side. He gets indignant and says that I am always allowing her to behave in a bad way and when I don't tell him what he doesn't want to hear, I am to him, not getting what he is saying and he just takes on this really rotten attitude and usually won't talk to me for a day or two. For me I just want to tell him to butt out of my business with my 13 year old but when I say that he makes me feel like I am wrong for saying that then wants to debate about it. (I hate philosophy majors)
In reality my daughter isn't rude nor is she rowdy. She is a typical 13 year old girl who tests the mom and daughter boundaries but is respectful and knows when she has pushed to far.
I have been struggling with this and just want to tell him to mind his own business when it comes to my 13 year old or any of my family business and stop trying to tell me what you think I am doing wrong as a parent. Is that wrong of me?