Looking for advice please,
married to a man for 13years and we have 4 children together, youngest is a year. I think it might be the end of the road for us. He is very very kind, never argues, generous financially and very hard working
pros
very kind to me and the kids
very hard working
never argues with me, soft natured with the kids and has a tight extended family
my family love him
pays most of the bills
i went through cancer a few years back he was a rock for me
cons
irresponsible with money, wastes it, grew up with plenty and doesn’t know the value of a buck. I gave him 20g of our savings which I know he expected to make money from and he is slow to return it.
lack of ambition and works 9-8 6days a week. Can’t say no.
does nothing around the house, no cooking cleaning, homework, never plays with the kids and extremely difficult to get him to do anything around the house. I earn the same if not more than him.
romance is dead, I doubt he finds me attractive anymore though I do try keep myself ok.
biggest biggest problem is his drinking. Twice a year he will go on a 4 day fuck the world bender and leave me wondering is he dead in a ditch. never aggressive or argumentative but it’s a worry and the kids know well, it effects the eldest particularly. She doesn’t ask where he is and is clingy and over affectionate with me, she just knows.
his family don’t like me, I am quiet, very intreverted and have a lot of emotional baggage. They are all social, popular and vey clannish. Worst we are surrounded by his family in either side of our home.
what should I do?? Would separation in a refined and amicable way be worse for our children than what they are experience. I want to do right by them first and foremost but this is just not a happy life for me