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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Do guys ever regret treating you badly, should you give someone a second chance

11 replies

PerkyKoala · 14/08/2024 19:08

I recently hooked up with a friend, we’d worked together several months prior to this and had been flirting on and off during this time. We always mentioned that we’d seen each other on hinge but we never did anything due to working together.

I left the job that we both worked at and shortly after he linked me on hinge and we started talking and agreed to move our friendship forward. We then hooked up and he kicked me out right after we had slept together.

We then hadnt seen each other for several months and didnt speak either, however I saw him again randomly whilst seeing some friends at my old workplace. The first time I saw him he was very smiley when seeing me and looked happy but we didnt really chat as he was with some friends and I was with mine, so we just did the generic hi how are you. Since then i saw him again and it was the same thing, but he barely looked at me or said anything the 2nd time, but i do think i saw him checking me out (i dont think he noticed i clocked this). I also checked him out a few times and think he saw me do this

The third time we were at a mutal friends party and he was a lot more chatty, he started conversations with me and seemed more aware of my presence if that makes sense, he seemed more like his normal self and we were a lot more chatty than the last time.

I do still fancy him, but am worried about getting hurt and am happy with seem to still be okay enough to be friendly. I just wanted other opinions to know if he is only being friendly so it isnt awkward around our friends or if he is making the effort because he feels bad for what happened between us.

He also always views my instagram stories which i know doesnt mean much

based on our friendship, I know he is a good person and kind, and i think thats why I was willing to keep him as a friend because part of me thinks if we hadn’t rushed into something so soon after his breakup, we both might have been in a better place to start something.

OP posts:
Zone2NorthLondon · 14/08/2024 19:11

Jesus,reread your own post. He ignores you after sex. Is ambivalent & moody. But you’re chuffed he still checks you out, he checks you out because he’s horny and he knows that you’re a soft touch

Sevenwondersofthewoo · 14/08/2024 19:16

I’d be blanking the fukker as all he wants is a shag nowt else and do tell how’s he a good person explain that cos he ain’t

cupcaske123 · 14/08/2024 19:22

Raise your bar.

Psychoticbreak · 14/08/2024 19:25

He is NOT a good person.
He is NOT a kind person.
He is NOT your friend.

He is a colleague who used you for sex and discarded you like you were old wrappings. He does not want to apologise. He does not feel bad for what he did and his relationship probably ended because he treats women like this.

Do not even engage this man in conversation. My god he has treated you horribly. Don't let him do it again.

C1N1C · 14/08/2024 19:27

This guy must be Henry Cavill because no normal person would get a second thought after this sort of behaviour.

Raise your standards.

MixieMatchie · 14/08/2024 19:37

Ask this question when he actually comes to you with an apology. Don't give him any headspace until then. None. He kicked you out straight after sex - WTAF. Let him grovel. He won't, though. He's just looking for low hanging fruit.

HoppityBun · 14/08/2024 19:38

No and No

TheFormidableMrsC · 14/08/2024 20:40

No no no and no. I was terrible for this. Don't do it. Know your worth.

Potentialmadcatlady · 14/08/2024 20:42

Fool me once shame on you
Fool me twice shame on me

You are worth much more

SamW98 · 14/08/2024 20:43

You had a ONS and he treated you like crap afterwards.

Pick your self respect off the floor and stop creating a fantasy in your head. Hes not interested

AttilaTheMeerkat · 14/08/2024 20:50

Your boundaries and relationship bar is through the floor. He knew this and targeted you.

Block him and read Women who love too
much by Robin Norwood.

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