Hurtful comment but what was his motive for telling me.

[sunshine2345]

Hi, my partner tonight said a common friend slated me to her work colleagues. My partner works with him and she met up with me for a coffee and catch up. Then she went to them and said I don't no what he sees on her he can do much better. I don't no what he sees in her.

I feel very hurt and low I got along with her and re liked her.

But my partner told me what she had said and I couldn't hide the upset. He said I only told you because I love you. I don't no what to think,

He's being a dick. There was no reason for him to tell you other than to put you down/stop you speaking to this person for whatever cruel reason. It probably didn't even happen.

Hmmm do you think he is telling the truth?
Do you think she would fancy him?
Does your partner like it when you feel insecure?
Was he jealous/annoyed that you went for a catch up with her?

He is your partner and has told you that a so called friend has been slagging you off. Sounds like a decent bloke to me, I would expect my husband to do the same.

I think that's very weird.
Like pp above I wonder if it actually happened.
It sounds as though your partner is trying to undermine your confidence and also drive a wedge between you and your friends.

She's comfortable saying it in front of him. You need to ask yourself why that is.

If someone was slagging me off who I thought was a friend I would hope my husband would tell me if he overheard this!

I hope he told her to shut her spiteful mouth.

This.

Assuming its true (any reason why he'd lie about it) then I'd say he's got your back and wants you to know what she's saying about you so you can avoid seeing her in future.

But this is MN and posters will be telling you he's the bad one.

Imagine the hatred you would have to feel for someone to repeat that (or embellish something/or completely fabricate something)

I can’t imagine repeating that to someone I’m supposed to treat the best. Your mental well being is in danger while you stay in a relationship with him.

She sounds VERY jealous of you and what you have you have to be careful these women out here really be hating on you because of what you've got and what they don't have I honestly wouldn't rise to it I would take it as a compliment if

Remember happy bitches aren't hating and hating bitches ain't happy

I just hope she defended your name for you x

Sorry I ment I just hope DH defended your name for you x

@speakball what?
If a mutual friend was badmouthing you to your partner and your partner told you, he would be the hateful one?
Of course he should tell her and then both of them cut off contact with said “friend”.

Well my instant response would have been ‘and what did you say?’

Who cares what she thinks, if she’s talking like that then she seems insecure and jealous, she’s no friend either so make her aware you know what she’s said then bin her off.

It’s not comfortable that your partner has come home and told you and said it’s because he loves you. It’s clearly affected your self esteem and he should know you well enough to be mindful of that. I would hope any decent partner would call her out on it and show support to you.

I’d like to think my husband would shut down someone who started slagging me off to them. It’s just so rude.
im wondering how your DH responded to her?
It sounds like he may be playing games with you to hurt you and play you off against this woman.
I think the important thing to know is how he responded to this with her.

I'd want my partner to tell me if someone was slagging me off. I'd hate to be all pally with someone and not be told that she's been speaking badly of me.

Maybe you feel the way you do for other reasons, is he manipulative or been hurtful before?