Afternoon all, now six or so years ago I finally discovered my wife had been having a proper old affair with a work colleague of hers for eight years, better than that they had carried it on even when he divorced his partner and moved a couple of hundred miles away , its sounds pretty bad and it was really , the phone messages I found showed he was getting a fair bit more than I ever got , anyway since we have three children and I'm not loaded and I actually rather like my partner we stayed together, or rather I didn't leave.
Now at the time I put this up on here to kind of clear my head , to try and get some perspective on it and the concensus of opinion was that I should split from her, well I resisted this mostly because of the children and the damage it does , now years on I know I should have just gone. We share a house and I run the kids around and do family things with them but there us nothing going on between me and my partner, we don't really discuss much of consequence , don't go out anywhere together , she used to give me a kiss goodnight but I asked what the point was in that so that stopped, I can't remember the last time I got a hug from her or the last time we had sex as such, maybe three years ago, I do get the occasional hand job, sounds a bit tragic really , I have to ask like some naughty kid and I might get lucky, every few months. The children are bigger with one hopefully off to university soon and the other two are doing OK in secondary school . The thing is I'm in a sort of purgatory limbo and have been for some time, I can see that despite the fact she has a wonky moral compass she works hard and is a good mother and has many really good qualities and I do still find her attractive and like being around a fair bit of the time , maybe it's the whole wanting what you can't have, I feel I am kind of dying before my time, I do whatever I can to suppress my feelings and am just a rather flat numb sort of person now .
I am thinking about making a clean break of things and looking for a job overseas and going, I don't think I could do the whole middle ground bit, my wife earns good money and her parents are still around and have money and there is the house so they won't end up destitute and I can send some money back once I am settled . What had further compounded this is despite her saying she would try and me getting help from Mind , I really was pretty low, her trying didn't last long and for a while now I think she has started something with another workmate or something, she has taking more care over her appearance buying new underwear, even one of those depilator things, and some rather nice little Jim jams, but not for me to see, she disappears upstairs most evenings and is sometimes late in from work and has a work mate she mentions a lot, and the last workmate she mentioned a lot was the guy she was seeing, well a lot more than seeing, at present she is away in Barcelona for a couple of days on a work course, a few weeks back she mentioned she had been told by her manager she needed to do more seminars and courses to help her management skills then hey presto, several days in Barcelona, what would you do if you were away , you might send your loved one a few pictures of your room, the view out the window , crap like that, well so far nothing , a few text messages, and her vibrating friend has gone too which I guess you might take if you needed to relax between meetings. On the subject of vibrators I live my vicarious sex life through her little vibrating mate, I know where she puts it and I get my sad little kink hit by seeing how often it moves and imagining her using it, also its the second little frisky one she has had. the first I noticed was kept in a handbag hanging up, then one day the bag and it had gone, to be replaced by frisky two a couple of weeks later, left at someone's house?
Anyhow my point is if someone cares so little about you that they carry on with someone else for years even when it's obvious how much its affecting their partner and you find out they seem to be closer to this other person than the one they have married you need to get out , it will be hard and unpleasant for a while but it's better than slowly wasting away from the inside out , life and time is short, there may well be someone else out there that appreciates you for what you are, you may even be better off as a single , but don't hang around getting more tired and bitter .