Guy I'm dating keeps wanting phone calls

[Cardinalita90]

I've been talking to a guy off a dating app for 2.5 weeks. He's very inexperienced with dating due to a long term relationship (only early 30s).

He keeps asking for phone calls. First one was before our first date which was fine - I understand he may have wanted to check we get on etc so went ahead. Then he wanted another before our first date which I said no, don't want to get too invested before we actually meet.

The first date happened, was fine, and we have a second scheduled for this week but now he's asked for another call beforehand. I'm finding it quite weird as no other guy I've dated before has wanted even one call, let alone 3 in such a short space of time. I feel like it's too much too soon but that could be the avoidant in me talking. I'm trying to limit texting to once or twice a day which may be making him nervous perhaps as he is very eager.

Is this unusual?

Nope, I'd hate this.

I come from the generation when phoning and texting were normal. A quick call mid-week between dates seems fine to me.

As a millennial who hates using a phone for its intended purpose, this would give me the ick 😂

It's a while since I've been on the dating scene so ...

Why wouldn't you want to chat on the phone - that'd give you an idea about whether you even wanted to make the effort to go out in with him again.

It's weird, in your 30s, you don't want to talk to someone you're dating. Early 20s maybe.

Have a look at all the threads complaining about partners who don't communicate ...

This 👆

A few WhatsApp fine. Phonecalls 🤮🤪

Would he compromise with voice notes? My DP hates texting (he’s dyslexic) so finds them easier. Then you can listen to them when it suits you.

You should introduce him to the woman on another thread who’s annoyed that the guy she’s seeing isn’t phoning her

But, ugh, this would annoy me too.

Oh see I think this is fine, lots of people just don’t like texting and prefer to actually talk to each other. It’s okay if you don’t like that, he’s just not the one for you.

How do you get to know each other without talking? Maybe this is a generational thing but his behaviour seems the more normal of the two of you.

It’s fine and normal to want a call. It’s not your fault if you don’t like it either so maybe you’re not compatible? See how it goes. Have a few calls if you’re willing, maybe keep them short if it helps.

Does he want video calls or voice calls ?

Is it the length of calls that’s an issue ?

I'm in my 40s and when younger would have used calls but, moving with the times, I'd prefer messaging now. Talking is better kept for F2F!

Maybe he's not a texter? I don't think it's weird - a bit unusual maybe. Perhaps he likes you and wants to chat. I would find it slightly irritating but it wouldn't put me off someone.

I'd prefer this to endless texting. I need to see and hear people to connect. I'm terrible for dropping off during text exchanges.

So I don't have an objection to calls when I'm further down the road with someone. It's just that I've only known this guy 2 and a bit weeks and I prefer to get to know someone in person and at a chilled pace and 3 calls in addition to texts doesn't feel chilled. Maybe like maybe he's trying to rush an intimacy that it's too early for ? 🤷‍♀️

If you're seeing him this week, maybe just say you don't like talking on the phone (a lot of people don't) and you'd rather save the chat for face to face. Nothing wrong with that.

Voice notes sounds like a good compromise

I agree. I’m in my 50’s and very rarely does on the phone. I’m a big WhatsApper

I have found that most men I chat to prefer a phone call though which I’m happy to oblige but I draw the line at video calls and definitely no voice notes.

I much prefer to keep the chatting face to face

Voice notes would be an instant ick 🤣

That’s what my DP does too. I hate phone calls even with people I know. I’m better with video calls than just voice but he prefers actual calls and I prefer texts so voice notes are a good compromise!

Yep. I don’t get the point of them at all - that would be an absolute no for me.

Just say you can't talk on phone for fear of being overheard. That's my truth also I either talk non stop or go very quiet you'd never think I am a grown arsed professional woman 😅

What a world hey I am lazy and don’t like texting all the time. I love to chat so a man wanting to call me I would love actually that’s how you get to know each other is he wanting it everyday as I agree that’s to much. But yes you can chat face to face but why not chat on the phone to. All this texting I am 44 I now realise why folks are not getting in relationships as no one communicates any more