Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Do I stick up for me?

8 replies

Donttemptthegods · 12/08/2024 16:51

Happy Monday mumsnetters. Will try to keep brief.

Very recent relationship breakdown, work with ex, she ended the relationship in a hurtful way. I am also female for context of this post.

Post break up she has attempted to sweep under the rug and push a friendship. I am hurt and for obvious reasons, unable to do that. As no contact not possible, I am not engaging in any communication except (of course) remaining polite and professional, necessary conversation only for work purposes/brief small talk in work situations.

Behaviour is now escalating to confronting me/guilt tripping me for not being my usual self. There have also been attempts at provoking jealousy in me using someone they had history with. I haven’t reacted to these attempts.

Work wise I do not have any intention to leave my role at company at this stage, nor is a transfer a realistic option. It is tough as you can imagine and I am doing my best to push on.

Do I ultimately confront this behaviour and set my boundaries? Or do I keep my mouth shut, and keep on ignoring it (which seems to be what is leading to this behaviour - wanting a reaction of sorts). I don’t really understand the behaviour if I’m honest and really did not see it coming. I find it attention seeking.

Generally, I tend to push down urges to confront in these situations, and prefer to just keep pushing forward, thinking that if someone is prepared to behave so poorly what is the point of explaining why their behaviour is poor and hurtful.

But I’m wondering if I need to stick up for myself?

OP posts:
Donttemptthegods · 12/08/2024 17:17

Bump

OP posts:
Coldiron · 12/08/2024 17:20

I would just keep doing what you’re doing and eventually she’ll get bored and leave you alone

SauviGone · 12/08/2024 17:22

Remain coolly professional, and grey rock when it comes to anything that is not about work.

cupcaske123 · 12/08/2024 17:24

I would be polite and professional and refuse to engage in any further chat. Block her on social media if you haven't already so you don't know what she's up to. If people are telling you gossip about her, just politely say you're not interested. Go grey rock.

PashaMinaMio · 12/08/2024 17:25

I’d carry on being absolutely professional and take the high road of discretion and dignified behaviour.

In the end hopefully, she’ll get hacked off and move on. Whatever you do, don’t give her ammunition. Worst case scenario you end up in front of management which could be detrimental.

Keep out of her way. Be the bigger person. You’ll say more with silence and non engagement than you ever can with words or confrontation,

Donttemptthegods · 12/08/2024 21:43

Thanks for replies. Out of interest, why do you advise not to confront?

OP posts:
cupcaske123 · 12/08/2024 21:52

Donttemptthegods · 12/08/2024 21:43

Thanks for replies. Out of interest, why do you advise not to confront?

Because she is looking for drama and drama just inflames the situation. You have to work together so it's better to be cool and professional.

Donttemptthegods · 12/08/2024 23:46

@cupcaske123 I wouldn’t be drawn into any heated conversation. Is a rational clear conversation setting out my boundaries still drama do you reckon?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread