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Original poster

Could you look past it?

12 replies

Blissfultiggy · 12/08/2024 15:54

I see so many of these kind of posts and nearly every time I think they should leave but I guess it’s just not that easy when it’s yourself 😔

I met my husband when I was 17, I started escorting at 19 which was a decision we both agreed to when I was made redundant. Looking back that should have been a red flag in itself.

I found him messaging the odd escort over the years I was doing it but he always said he had never gone through with it, we’ve both filmed porn with each other and other people too but only a couple of scenes.

I quit that industry in 2021 before we had our first baby in 2022.

I logged into my old porn twitter account today to delete it and I still followed his so his replies to other models and escorts were there on my feed when I logged in. They were things like ‘I’d love to cum in your arse’ and on an escorts photo he’d commented ‘ would love to meet for a booking’, she hadn’t replied to that so I don’t know if he did or didn’t.

These go back to a few weeks before our first baby was born. I’m heartbroken.

I don’t even know what the point is to this post, I just need to get it off my chest. With our past doing what we were would you look past it or would you speak to him?

OP posts:
Mom2K · 12/08/2024 16:09

Blissfultiggy · 12/08/2024 15:54

I see so many of these kind of posts and nearly every time I think they should leave but I guess it’s just not that easy when it’s yourself 😔

I met my husband when I was 17, I started escorting at 19 which was a decision we both agreed to when I was made redundant. Looking back that should have been a red flag in itself.

I found him messaging the odd escort over the years I was doing it but he always said he had never gone through with it, we’ve both filmed porn with each other and other people too but only a couple of scenes.

I quit that industry in 2021 before we had our first baby in 2022.

I logged into my old porn twitter account today to delete it and I still followed his so his replies to other models and escorts were there on my feed when I logged in. They were things like ‘I’d love to cum in your arse’ and on an escorts photo he’d commented ‘ would love to meet for a booking’, she hadn’t replied to that so I don’t know if he did or didn’t.

These go back to a few weeks before our first baby was born. I’m heartbroken.

I don’t even know what the point is to this post, I just need to get it off my chest. With our past doing what we were would you look past it or would you speak to him?

If you had both agreed that that chapter of your lives was closed, or even if he hadn't agreed but you told him that you didn't want that aspect to your lives anymore but he has continued anyway, then this is cheating and I would not look past it.

Did you have any type of conversation about it? Especially with a baby on the way, it would be pretty important to establish how you all want to proceed with family life.

Out of curiosity, what is the age difference between you and your bf and whose idea was it initially for you to begin escorting?

If it was his idea, I'm sorry OP but I think he's bad news and you're going to have problems with him going forward into family life. With a baby on the scene I think it would be quite natural thst you'd both think to and want to stop the escort/porn scene...but I apologize if I'm off base as I have no experience with that

Mom2K · 12/08/2024 16:11

If a conversation was never had and you still want to try to be with him I would definitely have that conversation and establish that boundary now.

It doesn't matter what was in your past as a couple. You have a right to grow/change and put your family first. If you and DP are no longer on the same page then you're not compatible and you do not need to try and force the relationship or put up with what makes you unhappy now, just because you did it/allowed it in the past.

Original poster
Blissfultiggy · 12/08/2024 16:42

We did discuss it and agreed we'd both move on from it before we had our baby.

There's 10 years age difference and he suggested it. At the time I didn't think much of it and happily went along with it because it meant I could afford to move out my parents house, which I couldn't have done otherwise.
It wasn't until I got older that I realised how awful it was that he suggested it.

We've been together 18 years and have a 1 year old and a 5 month old. I've gave him my whole life and thought that once it was behind us we could be a normal family.

I'm a big believer in marriage being for life and I want a family home for my children. I also don't want to have to have to share custody of my children, not even every other weekend. But I don't know how happy I can be knowing what he's doing

OP posts:
tothelefttotheleft · 12/08/2024 19:26

The things he'd ask them would live rent free in my head. How do you get past that.

thursdaymurderclub · 12/08/2024 19:29

hm....

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 12/08/2024 19:30

There's red flags and then there's red bloody skyscrapers. He does not respect you or care about you, you were 19 and he absolutely abused your trust and your youth to exploit you for money. Please grab the opportunity to get this vile man out of your life and run for the hills.

Original poster
Blissfultiggy · 12/08/2024 20:48

I know 😔 I'm an idiot. He had a traumatic upbringing and he's got no family so I've always been all he had. I've let him get away with so much.

I've tried so hard to give him the life that he never had growing up, but I think he doesn't know what's normal if that makes sense

OP posts:
Cardamomandlemons · 12/08/2024 20:53

You're not an idiot, you were a child when you met him. It was so obvious from the first post that there was a huge age gap. He sounds like a horrible awful person. Can you talk to women's aid or similar?

Lolla38 · 08/10/2024 19:01

I just wanted to ask if anyone else has experienced this or shed some light on this topic.
seeing a Escort site profile of a woman on a reading page on the IPAD, is this possible it’s appeared in the reading list alone or it more likely someone has blatantly been on this site and saved it for a reason .
I am trying to rack my brains on this while I am
been told no idea how it got there etc.
thank you
Quote

Original poster
Blissfultiggy · 10/10/2024 05:11

Lolla38 · 08/10/2024 19:01

I just wanted to ask if anyone else has experienced this or shed some light on this topic.
seeing a Escort site profile of a woman on a reading page on the IPAD, is this possible it’s appeared in the reading list alone or it more likely someone has blatantly been on this site and saved it for a reason .
I am trying to rack my brains on this while I am
been told no idea how it got there etc.
thank you
Quote

I don't think it would get there without him visiting the site, I'm sorry.

Please feel free to message me if you want to talk to someone going through similar

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 10/10/2024 05:15

@Blissfultiggy what did you end up doing? I'm crossing my fingers you've left but I know that's hard with little children.

Original poster
Blissfultiggy · 10/10/2024 07:40

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/10/2024 05:15

@Blissfultiggy what did you end up doing? I'm crossing my fingers you've left but I know that's hard with little children.

I've stayed, at some point I'll bring it all up to him and talk it through

OP posts:
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