Excuse the slightly dramatic title!
Tl/Dr; Hetero couple in our 30s, no known physical or mental health issues. Been together 5 years, sex was always a little sparse even in the beginning now it's 2-3 times a year and we have no other physical touch or intimacy. 1 only just toddler but the problem existed before baby's arrival. Conversations haven't helped. What do I do??
In the early days I asked him about it and what he likes etc and essentially he said he's happy with missionary at bedtime once a week. I thought nah he must just be shy...
Queue 3 years of me prancing around in nice underwear, trying and failing to seduce him, multiple respectful, gentle conversations and one or two slightly more stressed ones and sex just got less and less frequent until we've done it maybe twice this year. I've done all the initiating, planned romantic weekends away, suggested more exercise/healthy eating/less alcohol etc etc nothing helps.
When I've brought it up he's alternately tired or absolutely hears me and will 'do better' but never does. We don't even touch in any other way, romantic or not, no hand holding or casual touches on the shoulder. I realised yesterday that he has NEVER voluntarily hugged me, literally not once.
In every other way the 'relationship' is fine, we get on, don't argue, always kind and thoughtful with each other. There's just no romantic physical or emotional connection and I'm worried there never was. I just feel sad and lonely all the time. I don't think therapy is an option, he won't even talk to me!