What is a good man?

[ZombieGirl86]

So many threads of awful men doing horrible things where the op's always include he is a good man. I feel like this just means they arent physically abusive?

So what does a good man look like? Add your thoughts/criteria...

I.e., Supports me when im stressed

1. Got ur back. Kind, funny and respectful.

Oh I see this all the time as well! I think my husband is a good man, a great one actually. He’s loving, affectionate, a good communicator, he’s kind, thoughtful, he is totally committed to me and to our family, he’s literally my best friend, don’t know what I’d do without him and feel so lucky to have him when I see some posts on here

No fragile masculinity / massive ego bullshit that gets easily offended. Thinking of two men I know and love, it's possible to be like this as both a very "masculine" man or as a "feminine" man or in between. It's about a quiet confidence that leads them to be entirely comfortable in themselves without the need for external validation.

An understanding that women are simply female humans, not some mysterious other deserving of pedestals or derision. Conversely, also an understanding that the female experience is marked by factors they cannot fully know, linked to our biology, history and society.

Because of the above, good men don't feel entitlement to female bodies or labour.

Same as good woman, as neither exist and are a MYTH !

I dont think perfect exists but good? Surely you think good exists?

I would add in light of this someone who tries.

Same as a good person. Responsible, owns their shit, law abiding, no major addictions, it doesn't make you a bad person to make mistakes, but the process of learning from them is important. And relationship wise, nice, positive, if can't say something positive or constructive then don't, not critical of you. Critical people tend to have come from critical families and have unresolved issues.

Honestly some of it is subjective and often people will argue when it's just not worth it, what I dislike someone else won't care about etc. The ideal of a good man, excluding the red flags, is subjective - its how you feel with them, after being with them. Good? Safe? Comfortable? Secure? It shouldn't feel euphoric or low all the time- somewhere in the middle. If you aren't sure what good is, spend a good amount of time single, really helps IMHO.