Snobby mother

[RalphieJ]

i have been separated from my husband for 6 months and recently started dating someone new. Nothing serious currently just speaking time together

my mother has spotted his van outside my house and today asked about him.
asking does he not have a car and also stating he looks scruffy! She was laughing on the process of saying this also ….

I am a grown woman but this has really affected me

its Not the new partner that’s the issue as she mentioned someone single who she knows - friend of a friend, as if she wanted to set me up a few months ago

we now aren’t fully speaking - I have said to her this is why I don’t openly tell you things, you make me feel uncomfortable etc but I don’t know what to do next or even approach the situation

where should I go next with this?!

Bit of an overly sensitive reaction from you. Why don’t you just say it as it is? Yes he has a car too, he was scruffy because he’d been working. He’s a carpenter/builder/plumber whatever OR No Mum it’s his only vehicle, you think he looks scruffy? I think he looks rugged.

This wouldn’t offend me in the slightest.

DH has a van, and can look scruffy on his return home from work.

Can't see the issue.

I would be hurt. Laughing at your choice of dating partner is rude.

im probably not the best at giving advice where mothers are concerned thought

Why does it matter what your mum thinks about your potential boyfriend’s van?

I couldn’t be arsed falling out over this.

Thanks so far

i did say no he doesn’t have a car he uses a work van

maybe I’ve been overly sensitive as I just wanted expecting her to be so judgmental

Seems a bit extreme to be not speaking to your mum over her comments. Why have you allowed her words to upset you so much. It does seem an over reaction.

If it was my mum, Id just say something like ' Well I like him so I'd hope you'd be happy for me" or ' Yes I've always liked a bit of rough" and laugh back at her.

I wouldn't worry what she thinks. I think ur probably sensitive because you probably want her approval. Just tell her that your happy and that's what is what matters .... at least his working!

Why is she driving by your house?

Sorry your mum is a snob OP but best to ignore it.

We live on the same street

If she is snobby this can't be news to you surely? She must have expressed similar views before now. I wouldn't fall out with her over it but yes you are not unreasonable to be annoyed. My mum died young but was a terrible snob, I still cringe at some of the things she said all these years later. This sounds like exactly the kind of reaction she would have if it were me dating this man.