Do you think ‘the one’ exists?

[Mothersmith89]

Curious what everyone thinks!

No, there are degrees of compatibility with people, but you're probably 97% "compatible" with far more than one person.

No. There's billions of people on the planet. My dh and I are v compatible but let's say I was born in America or France or anywhere else, I'd have met someone else as would he.

No.

Someone might be your one in a million match but that still means there are 60 of them in the country.

No. There are many people you could connect with it’s finding one that you make it work with

What’s honestly the chances your star crossed lover is destined to cross your path on a planet of 8 billion?

No. That would make no sense, when would it be decreed by the powers that be if there were? Which powers would they be deciding? What if your one died before you met them? What if they were on the other side of the world.

But it can definitely feel like there is. When you find someone who feels completely compatible with you it’s hard to imagine you might not have found them and been so happy.

What do you think?

No. “The one” is Disney fantasy.

Best life is to be happy single and celibate if you possibly can. Try very hard.

Failing that marry someone who isn’t horrible and choose to love him.

Nope. There'll be loads of "potential" people who could be the "one", not just 1! There are billions of people on the planet. 60 million people in the UK. There's not a cat in hell's chance that there's only 1 person out there for you! And if there was, how the hell would you find him/her if he/she lived in outer Mongolia, in fact, even if you live in Eastbourne and they live in Blackpool, the odds are huge that you'd ever even meet, let alone get together - you'd probably just pass on the street on a random day/time and not even notice each other.

The reality is that the "one" for you probably lives on your street, or works where you work, or goes to the same supermarket as you, or goes to the same gym, etc. Of course that's not "the one", it's one of many who'd be compatible with you.

I thought my ex was my one. Turns out he was just as manipulative and controlling as the rest but just hid his true self a bit longer so no not anymore I don't.

Well it would be too much of a coincidence if the one goes to the places you do in your town/city etc.

Yes! Or at least a few of them. My DH is definitely my one.

Also how does it work with being equivalent ages... If someone who was your "one" dies, does a new "one" get reborn somewhere on Earth? Or does the Being in charge of putting one sole person who is a perfect match for someone make sure they don't die? But does then that means every person who dies without meeting their "one" was never going to have a match?

The whole system would need explaining to me...

No

Nope, there are millions of people that you could have a happy life with in the work, probably 10s of thousands in the UK.

Most of them you'll never meet, some of them you'll meet but at the wrong moment.

I've had 6 long term partners in my life. Only one of them was objectively the "wrong" person for me. All the rest could have been the right person, but the timing was wrong, or the location was wrong, or our headspaces were wrong.

Right person, Right place, Right time. Gives the illusion of there being "The One"

As Tim Minchin sang on the subject

Your love is one in a million
You couldn't buy it at any price
But of the nine-point-nine-nine-nine-hundred-thousand other possible loves
Statistically, some of them would be equally nice

Or maybe not as nice but, say, smarter than you
Or dumber but better at sport or... xxxxxxx....or... tracing?

I'm just saying
I really think that I would
Probably
Have somebody else
If I didn't have you someone else would do

No. I adore my DH and we've been together for 27 years. But I believe I could also have been happy with other people if I'd met them instead of him.

I don’t think DH was ‘the one’ when I met him, but he had potential. I do think he’s the one now after building a relationship and marriage with him. So my opinion is that you make the one, you don’t find them.

No I don’t think so. I’m sure there are levels of compatibility or initial feelings of lust that will differ depending on the match etc but for any longevity there needs to be multiple aspects that work.

No - for all the reasons which people have identified above - in particular, in a world of 8 billion people, what would be the odds of us meeting that one person!? I think there are lots of right partners for all of us, just as we would all be right partners for many people; circumstances generally dictate which of those right partners we make LTRs with.

No. They might be one of the thousands of “ones” who you wouldn’t have been equally compatible with or even more compatible with. It’s a ridiculous romantic load of claptrap.

I did. I don't now since he broke my heart recently

No such thing.

From all the life long marriages I have seen in my life ( I don't have divorce in immediate family or relatives ) I know there is married life with just one. But that is not always your love ...one gran married an older man, wanted to marry her boyfriend. The other gran married the man who wanted to marry another woman. And so on

I am married life long and forever and married someone who I genuinely approved from all levels. Sometimes I felt he might wanted another type but now he is the opposite of that. So yes, you can stay with one man forever but be realistic also - best friends is all that makes a great marriage.

Just find the one that annoys you least and you fancy the most.

"You're special, but you fall within a bell curve..."

Love that song.

OP, you get out of a relationship what you are both willing to put into it. There's no one perfect soulmate out there you're destined to find. There are a lot of people you could be happy with if that's what you and they decide. Relationships do need a fair bit of work to last the distance.

You can also be perfectly happy on your own. (Although it's easier with a cat for company in my experience)

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