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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Lost everything

3 replies

Snowneep · 11/08/2024 19:41

Found out at the end of July that DP of 10years had been having an affair since April. He’s said he didn’t love me, hadn’t for years and was leaving to be with her because he loves her.

I am utterly devastated and heartbroken, we have 3 children (2 with SEN) and I thought we were going to be together forever.

He is now sorting out moving out but until then we are stuck in the same house and it’s really hard because I still love him but I know he’s talking to her and making plans.

I don’t have any close friends only the mums I say ‘Hi’ to on the school run and people I chat to at work because I spend all my time working or caring for our children so I’m really close to my mum. I’ve told her everything and she has just been sending me message after message saying I should move in with her but she is a carer for my adult brother who has Schizophrenia and is an alcoholic. I don’t want my children to live there it’s not suitable. I told her that today and now she’s said I’m abusive to her, said some really horrible things about me and she’s not talking to me anymore. I don’t think we can come back from the things she has said.

I’ve lost my whole support network and everyone I loved (apart from my children) in a matter of weeks and I don’t have anyone to talk to anymore.

Any advice on how to navigate this and not feel so lonely would be appreciated.

OP posts:
Begby6789 · 11/08/2024 19:50

I am sorry to hear you're going through this grim time. You should get yourself out there and join groups, leave the kids with their dad and do things that will help you make new friends and cheer you up.

Sunburnisrareinscotland · 11/08/2024 19:51

Make sure he has the dc on his own. Nowt like dc to shift the new relationship into domestic 'bliss'.. He doesn't get to opt out of parenting.

Northernlights100 · 11/08/2024 20:24

I‘m so sorry to hear this. I don’t have advice but I’ve been in a similar situation and it’s tough. Big hugs and you’ve got this 💐

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