I've been together with my 40F partner 40M for 17 years. We have 3 young children together, all under 12. ihad to go through ivf etc for all 3. We have been engaged for 11 years. Every time I or the kids bring up marriage he changes the subject. I've moved 3 times (with kids) giving up my career each time for his job. I admit I resent him for this but as he says I said yes to the moves. I do most of the childcare and work full time. He does all cooking and I do all cleaning. My friends are telling me he is a narcissist and I agree but I think I've got too comfortable and use to his behaviour. Things to note... I have 2 autistic kids 13f and 10m, he is definitely on the spectrum but denies it. He had done no research on autism, where I have read every book/article etc. I go to appointments foe the kids on my own. He seems either in denial or not interested. I have tried to talk about our failing relationship multiple times, I get upset and shout because he just stands there and says that I've been a nightmare to him too, that my Hormones whrn trying for kids nearly made him walk out. I have suggested therapy for us both, he laughed and said absolutely not. I have suggested we do date nights, he says we have no money (he earns a lot more than me) I have no access to the food money so have to ask for him to get me things as he won't let me go shopping, he has to go. I pay for bills and anything for kids and he pays rent and food. When I gave birth to my last child (7 years ago) he lost my shoes and refused to buy me slippers from the hospital shop so I had to walk to the car after giving birth in bare feet. Then he refused to register the birth with me because I didn't want his mums name as our childs middle name. He never takes our kids (or me) anywhere. When I asked him why...he said he has his reasons but wouldn't elaborate. Would i be an awful person if i left him? I'm not sure howi would cope financially and pay the rent and the fact we have two autistic kids is going to really affect them. However I'm miserable and I just want to be free. We aren't married so I would get nothing from his pension or assets and may have to move to a smaller house. He also has the potential to be a complete arse and refuse to leave. I have this feeling that that wil happen. As we rent I'm not sure what I can do as both our names are on the least. Last thing is I have helped look after his elderly mum who lives 2 hours away. I am the one that organises going to see her and give his sisters respite from looking after her. I took our kids away for a week (he never comes on holiday with us,..his excuse is no money or he can't get time off work) my dad is undergoing chemo and I asked him to check up on him whilst I was away. He didn't, he said he didn't have time. He works from home. Dad 80 lives 30 mins away. The kids love their dad and it will really mess them up if we leave. I need a neutral perspective on this. What are your thoughts on me leaving? Is it the right thing to do or am I just being dramatic?