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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is this abuse?

8 replies

redrudolph · 10/08/2024 13:51

Very difficult to write this as it is so sensitive to dd.
Her partner of one year has been wanting sex without condom for a long time. She cannot use other forms of protection which he knows about.
A few weeks ago he persuaded her and insisted he would withdraw at the right time. He didn’t, and didn’t try to until she pushed him off. She has just found out she is pregnant, he is thrilled, she is not. She is 20 he is 23.
I am sorry to be so graphic about something so private, but I cannot get over this. She is putting it down to an error of judgment on his part. He has always been possessive of her and he does not like it when she visits us. Am I right to think there is something very wrong here?

OP posts:
JanglyBeads · 10/08/2024 13:54

Sounds like it. You could call a DV or SA charity and get advice on how to approach her.
I'm sorry (am wondering if this is your DD). 😞

RandomMess · 10/08/2024 13:54

Yes he's deliberately impregnated her to keep her trapped.

TBH as he went ahead against the terms of what she consented to I think it's rape?

whyhere · 10/08/2024 13:55

Yes you are. I'm so sorry.

JanglyBeads · 10/08/2024 13:55

Eg Women's Aid
*how to approach this with her

Daleksatemyshed · 10/08/2024 14:02

He's clearly done this on purpose, he thinks once they have a DC together she's trapped with him. Talk to her, at the moment he's thrilled he's got his own way_ can you make her think again Op

OpheliaBaws · 10/08/2024 14:13

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

redrudolph · 10/08/2024 14:15

She is adamant she is keeping the baby. I think she has told me because she is confused as the initial act was consensual but the end was not.

I will ask her to contact Women’s Aid so she can hear it from someone impartial. Thank you for your help

OP posts:
Neverneverneveragain · 10/08/2024 17:33

I think so too, not consensual. It is not a good foundation for a family together. Woman’s aid/Rape crisis/victims support will advise

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