Trauma bond

[Mummaof2babes2]

Relationship of 4 yrs has ended. Over 3 yrs of physical abuse & psychological manipulation.. He tried to kill me 3 weeks ago and finally the police put him in jail. 😪 yet all I can think about is him. 24/7 he is on my mind. He wasnt always bad and infact he was 90% loving. I miss him so much but I won't ever go back.. I guess I just want to know how long the trauma bond lasts. When will i feel better?? I just cry all day and think of him all day. I have so much support and counselling but i feel broken. I feel so guilty for calling the police and I just want to see him. What is wrong with me. I know logically I should hate him.

You are only a few weeks out so go easy on yourself. Well done for getting away and for calling the police. It was the right thing to do. You are not broken but grieving and recovering.

You should be proud of yourself. You are going through the grieving process. You know you don’t ever want to see him again so it will take time to move through these phases. He was your world, so adjusting will be hard but you did the right thing. You have super support by the sounds of it. I’m so relieved you were able to escape as many women and men sadly don’t.

There’s nothing wrong with you. I have felt similar and still can’t explain, clearly, why I felt that way but I know it is natural for many people to do so. Those feelings seem irrational, don’t they, but I do believe they are part of the process of healing. I honestly think accepting that and sort of being relaxed about it helps it feel less crazy and maybe makes that stage pass quicker. Just having faith that it will pass will take the pressure off.