Is this too fast? Or too slow?

[Namingthings]

I got out of a 1 year relationship end of June. Back in the winter, a man I dated about 7 or 8 years ago from OLD got back in touch. Out of respect to my then-partner, I didn't write to him, besides a very brief text. Those years ago, we had maybe 3 dates and drunkenly slept together on the last one. I don't know why we didn't stay in touch. There wasn't any animosity or any bad feeling, I think we just both drew a line under it and moved on.

Since I split with ex in June, I have met this man for 2 dates. We both said we will take it very slowly. I am suffering from my split, and I think he is generally wary of getting hurt. He lives 2 hours from me, so both dates we met in a location halfway for the day. Lovely time, walking, laughing, lunch, mooching around. A great friendship. We have kissed a few times and there is totally no expectation for sex. EXCEPT... well, obviously there is chemistry.

So now we are pretty much aiming to be together 1 day each weekend. But we keep tiptoeing around... like, I can't stay at his house, he can't stay here, and there is a feeling we must avoid bed! It is making it tricky as we are planning walking trips and travel together. What am I asking? I don't know. Are we doing this "right"? How long before it feels right to sleep in the same bed? I don't think I am ready to have sex again but cuddles would be nice. But maybe too tempting. What would you do?

I'd say that by your language that you aren't ready or being honest with yourself about it either. U don't need a man or to jump into bed with. Sorry but u just come out of a relationship why has it not been two months and you're contemplating another ?
U need to let him go stay friends but just thst and concentrate on healing and being alone and happy for a while.

Thank you. I def dont feel ready, although I enjoy the company & companionship. Yes I think maybe we need to stay friends but create more distance so we are not kissing any more. He is such good company & there is a nice vibe. Maybe we need to be v firmly "just friends" for another year or so. He says theoretically he wants someone to do stuff with & to grow old with. But it doesn't necessarily mean me.

Yes, I would put him in the friend zone for a bit. Tell him that you want to do justice to your next relationship and increase the chances of success, which means time to rebuild your identity post split.

But, assuming he’s looking for a relationship rather than a platonic friend, why would he even contemplate being friends for a year with the possibility of a relationship after that?