Me and DH had an argument a few months ago and he went to stay with his mother and step father. A mother who treated him terribly as a child and who is imo strange, possessive and destructive (breastfeeding cats for example/ I was the lover of my son in a past life.. sort of creepy shit). I find it difficult to have a relationship with her although I've tried really hard. She loathes me (and her other daughter-in-law) and has a problem with women in general. It's sad, I've got on really well with all other mothers of the boyfriends I had (in my twenties) and my first husband's mother, so it's not a 'demonise the mother-in law' vibe. But I find her repulsive, strange and borderline evil and I can't be rational in her presence. She allowed my husband (as a child) to be repetitively physically abused and bullied, told him he would grow up a cripple (he had a mild physical ailment) that no woman would ever want him. She put him down constantly.
It was almost unbelievable until I met the other members of his family. They all put him down, ridiculed him, and demeaned him in front of me, they sniggered about him in front of his face and it was appalling to witness and made me incredibly angry. My husband ironically (considering his background) is very successful and has achieved (career wise) far more than any of his family but even so the putdowns carry on along with snide mean comments.
The reason I am writing this is because I feel bad that I don't want a relationship with any of them. Am I being difficult? I get frustrated, my husband suffers from incredibly low self esteem and finds it extremely difficult to set boundaries. I feel a bit betrayed and conflicted that he fled to his mothers after our argument rather than go to a male friends instead etc. I love him very much but feel like throwing in the towel just to be rid forever of his awful family.