What do you think?

[Horsesforcourses75]

Will try to be as factual as I can…we bought a piece of furniture. My husband was busy with other jobs so I decided to make the furniture. I followed the instructions. Almost made it but needed a bit of help with tightening a couple of bits and standing it upright (was one of those cat tower things). Asked for help. As soon as he came to help, he took over. Everything that I asked him to help with he disagreed with and said it should be done another way. I said this to him but he was convinced I was being arrogant and telling him what to do. I was literally asking for help with doing the last bits as was a 2 person job. Eventually he started doing what he thought was the correct thing to do and broke the cat tower. He then said…’next time I’ll do it all’
He is really angry with me as he felt I was being disrespectful. I’m upset as I only needed help with a couple of bits but I feel that as soon as he came to ‘help’ he talked down to me and took over. Am I over reacting?

I would be really upset too if I were you. It sounds like he thought you needed 'help'=guidance and advice but you know you were asking for help=a second pair of hands.
So I can possibly see how he got offended when he thought you'd asked for his guidance and were then dismissing it but to get pissy about it after he actually broke the tower (I.e. was demonstrably wrong!) Is too much.

And why does he think you were asking for guidance anyway? Were you actually unclear- or does he assume he knows better than you always?

Sounds like my experience with just about every man I've ever asked to help me

My stbx has been like this throughout our married life to the point I started second guessing and questioning myself. My self esteem and confidence plummeted until I was nearly broken. Make sure you don't go the same way

Tried to have a conversation about it.
main points- 15 years ago I put together a Wendy house wrong and DH had to redo it.
DH has much more experience doing diy and because of the Wendy house I can’t do diy (1/1 thing I’ve made has gone wrong-this is a quote). If a woman who was knowledgeable about diy was doing it they would have done it differently (like DH would have done as he also has experience). He would not have spoken down to them. I wouldn’t understand as I don’t have any diy experience.
It is weird that I did the diy (I did have a look at it to check I could do it and felt completely happy with the simple instructions and therefore got on with it as husband busy).
Eventually I did leave husband to do it as was taking down to me. Not sure what happened but the cat tower broke. This was because ‘It was assembled horizontally not vertically). I explained that I’d assembled it vertically until it got too tall for me to reach. I then lay it down and assembled the rest horizontally. I should have (DH said) got a ladder or chair. I would have known this if I’d had any diy experience.

all very sad as just feel spoken down to and disrespected

Bump

This

Well imo your life is half way perfect.... You have a dcat...
Ltb and you and dcat will have a perfect life..