Any advice on how I can communicate better with my DH? He's in most ways a devoted family man to me and our children, he genuinely does so much for us all, but I'm really struggling with a lack of communication and not feeling that we're on the same team. I think he may have undiagnosed ADHD. We have three young DC so life is very full on. I feel like I end up as the default parent a lot of the time when things get tough, especially bedtime, which is an absolute stressful nightmare most nights. He's very distractible and has the tendency to wander off and just go and go do something else/have a lie down in the middle of bedtime when the kids don't listen to him, so it often falls to me to do mostly solo. I'll go and find him and ask him to help (often several times in the same evening) which tbh just feels like me 'nagging' eventually. He'll do a bit (eg clean one child's teeth) but then wander off again and lie down and scroll on Facebook. I find it really frustrating as my feeling is that we should be working as a team to tackle bedtime together and then we can both sit down and chill out together in peace afterwards. Tonight I'm ashamed to say that after a few evenings of this having asked nicely lots of times and with building resentment on my part I snapped and got angry with him about this in front of the kids. The littlest is in the process of dropping her nap and hadn't slept today (which was stressful as she was v grumpy all afternoon!) but the silver lining I hoped was that she'd have an early night and we could have a relaxing evening. I put the littlest to bed and beforehand has said that i'd really appreciate him putting the bigger two kids to bed at the same time and relatively early (730ish) so we could spend some quality time together. 30 minutes later, and after 8, when I emerged from the little ones room, the big two were still dressed and not yet washed/teeth cleaned, and all the toys were still out upstairs. He was downstairs with the TV on watching the olympics. By this point as well as having put the littlest to bed I'd already cooked and washed up solo and to be honest I'd just had a enough - i was fully prepared to do the last bits of bedtime (stories etc) but not the while lot. I absolutely shouldn't have shouted in front of the children and I'm so disappointed in myself. But I just feel so unheard having repeatedly asked politely for more help/engagement at bedtime that the resentment built to the point that I exploded. How do I communicate better to avoid this again? Should I just accept that he wants to do things on his own timescale with lots of breaks etc, and that a later bedtime is fine? Am I being too controlling (which is what he said to tonight)? How do I communicate this better to him to avoid arguments in front of the kids future? I've tried to talk to him tonight after the kids are in bed but he's just said I want him to do everything my way and nothing's been resolved. Thanks for anybody who has got this far!