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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice please.

32 replies

TwinMamaTee · 09/08/2024 08:07

Hi,

I've been out of the dating game for about 10 years or so. Single for 5 years.
Recently joined a dating app, more for window shopping really, but got a message from someone and we ended up chatting and getting along.
We chatted for 2 weeks before meeting up.
We didn't sleep together although did do other things, as we decided on a more casual sort of thing, although they are looking for a long term relationship.

I did find during the 2 weeks chatting, most of the times I would text first but would always get a reply.
We met at the weekend. I text the next day and got a reply.
Haven't heard from them since.
I'm sure if I messaged they'd reply, but I'm wondering that the fact they haven't sent a single message in 5 days means they aren't interested?
I know they work long hours with commuting, but surely a quick morning or evening text doesn't take much effort.

Are they just not interested or could they be genuinely busy and am I expecting too much in such early days?

I'm confused as they said they had a good time and liked me.

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 09/08/2024 15:59

You’ve agreed on something casual, which really means friends with benefits. That doesn’t require or involve daily texting, it’s just a text when they want something situation.

TwinMama88 · 09/08/2024 16:04

Do you think I should just explain that I've decided casual isn't for me but I'm open to more, and leave the ball with him?
I don't know what to do.
This is what happens when I try to have a life and be an adult lol, no wonder I stayed single for so long.

SamW98 · 09/08/2024 16:07

TwinMama88 · 09/08/2024 16:04

Do you think I should just explain that I've decided casual isn't for me but I'm open to more, and leave the ball with him?
I don't know what to do.
This is what happens when I try to have a life and be an adult lol, no wonder I stayed single for so long.

Yes but just one message telling him that and then leave the ball on his court.

No follow up messages from you. Leave him to respond and take it from there.

Mrsttcno1 · 09/08/2024 16:08

SamW98 · 09/08/2024 16:07

Yes but just one message telling him that and then leave the ball on his court.

No follow up messages from you. Leave him to respond and take it from there.

Agree with this.

TwinMama88 · 09/08/2024 16:09

Thanks guys. Who knew this dabbling in dating would be this hard already.

samanthablues · 09/08/2024 16:17

TwinMama88 · 09/08/2024 16:04

Do you think I should just explain that I've decided casual isn't for me but I'm open to more, and leave the ball with him?
I don't know what to do.
This is what happens when I try to have a life and be an adult lol, no wonder I stayed single for so long.

You’re being as wishy washy as him OP. If a relationship is what you want then you sit with this guy and tell him a relationship is what you want, if he’s on the same boat good for you, if he’s not and “needs time to figure out what he wants” you dump him because he’s just confused or treating you as “mrs good for now till I find something better”.

BananaLambo · 09/08/2024 16:20

If a man is interested you’d know about it. OLD is a numbers game. He’s probably dating 4-5 other people at the moment and you should be too. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket at this stage. You’re not exclusive.

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