Was just reading the ‘anyone else trying not to contact a guy’ thread and it made me think about my ex. Didn’t feel appropriate to post on there as we’re no longer in contact and haven’t been for years, but I still think about him far too much a lot.
We met when we were at school. Got married early 20s. Separated early 30s. He’s now with someone else (so am I) and has kids (so do I).
The thing is, though, I think about him far too much. Most days, in fact. Not because I wish we were still together but because I’m still very bitter about things. (Long story but basically he couldn’t bear to be the bad guy, so after we separated, he strung me along for years, pretending there was a chance we might get back together.) I often sometimes wish someone hurts him the way he hurt me. (Not very nice, I know! And I think I’m normally a reasonably nice person. But clearly not when it comes to him.)
I KNOW it’s not healthy but I can’t quite let go. And when I say it’s been years, I’m now late 40s, so it’s been over 15 years!!
He was my first, though, and he hurt me so much, not just because he broke it off but because he was such a coward and strung me along for so long. (He was even, I realised later, seeing the woman he’s now married to while pretending to me we might still have a chance.)
But why can’t I let it go? I sometimes think it’s a bit of an obsession and perhaps I should have counselling. But I really wouldn’t say I hate many people and yet I hate him. Maybe it’s just because I never got the chance to tell him that?
Anyway, can you please share your stories of people you can’t quite stop thinking about? If only to make me feel less alone with my vitriol!