Sex in peri

[SwordToFlamethrower]

I'm 47 and dh is 39.

I read a lot on here about how women go completely off sex in peri.

I have PCOS and always enjoyed a high/good sex drive. In all my relationships, I've had a higher drive than my partner in fact.

I've been dreading peri because I hated the thought of having problems or going off sex.

However even with a 21 month old, I'm still experiencing the same drives as in my 20s and 30s. I love sex and crave it. I was absolutely insatiable during my pregnancies and wanting to get back on it as soon as I was physically able to after giving birth, nearly 2 years ago.

Am I an anomaly? Am I different? Is it the PCOS or some other reason?

I'm also AuDHD if that means anything.

What prompted this post was a dry spell for a couple of months but last night rocked and I'm very happy!

I don’t think there’s any normal as we are all different. I’m your age and absolutely love having sex with my dp. We just got back from holiday where we had sex every day bar one and then straight after a delayed flight back home on only 4 hours sleep 😅 think it makes me feel happier for sure after reading some stories on here of miss matched couples. We’ve only gone 14 days sex free max and that’s been due to illness.

Yay! I only ever see posts about women going off sex, and the common narrative is that "all women" go off sex after babies or menopause. Makes me feel othered and weird.

Glad you are loving life!!

@SwordToFlamethrower hahah no way! Like you I have a younger partner after divorce and we’ve been together nearly 5 years. I actually love it as sometimes after round one he will instigate round 2 after a few minutes. Glad you are enjoying it too! It’s actually got so many health benefits too lol 😜

Don't think there is a normal. I have a 2 and 3 year old and have it pretty much everyday. It's something I enjoy more than watching a show on netflix or reading a book so is how I spend my free time in the evening.

The only exception was pregnancy but I was sick all day long so that killed any drive.

I wouldn't worry about that what other people are doing.

Absolutely not. I'm peri menopause and still have a good sex drive. I'd probably squeeze in another to our x3 a week!
I'm mad about my dh!

Probably depends a lot on your DP, your relationship and how good the sex actually is!

I’m someone who went off it in my 30s with young DCs and a H who wasn’t very emotionally available.

When I met XP at 38 I rediscovered my libido and we had a great time, but by the time we split 10 years later it was on the way out again due to peri.

I resisted HRT as my mum died of breast cancer caused by taking it, but after watching the Davina documentary I thought I should try it to give my relationship a chance to survive. XP used his usual misogynistic shitty line about “the time of the month” one too many times and I let my peri fire burn the whole thing down!

Annoyingly I then benefitted from the HRT but had nobody to shag, so found a FWB for a year. Now happily shagging a slightly younger man and he can’t keep up with me! We’ve found a nice balance that works for us, but I do think he’s having more sex than he’d ideally choose to keep me satisfied as he’s worried I’ll look elsewhere (I won’t).

Sex drive is a mysterious beast tbh, there’s no normal, even for the same person, or the same couple. Enjoy it whenever you can.

I don’t think most women go off sex. They go off their partners. Not all of them probably. Just my opinion.

The only thing that put me off sex was a dry and sore vagina but HRT has sorted that and I have the same sex drive as ever. However there is definitely a link between ADHD and high sex drive/hyper sexuality (not that I'm suggested you have that!) which makes sense due to dopamine seeking
I benefit from this in my ADHD husband 😆😆😆😉

I do think men are better at having 'boring' sex than women. When you've been together a long time sex can get samey and a bit boring and women tend to find it harder to get the motor revving than men do.

Interesting that you have PCOS, so have I and I also could not get enough of it while pregnant. Increased sensitivity causing any zone to be erogenous 😂.

Had loads during my 40's. In my 50's now and still notice men ( currently single) especially at certain times of the month - perimenopausal. I wonder if its the higher androgen levels with PCOS, given that a low libido is often treated by adding testosterone to HRT, whereas our levels are likely naturally on the high side.

I have pcos and ADHD. I'm knackered all the time and would far prefer tea and a biscuit.

I’m 43, pcos, also peri and horny all the damn time! I’ve always had a high drive too but this is something else much like you describe. It’s been like this for about 3 years, long let it continue! I wondered if I was strange, glad to hear I’m not the only one. Luckily although DH a bit older than me he’s more than happy with the situation. I often wondered if it was due to my pcos as I have high testosterone level.

I'm 48 (wtf, sure I was only 25 a few years ago!), in the throes of peri and still have a decent libido.

Mind you, I've only been with my partner 4.5 years and we don't live together, so it's always exciting to see each other. When I was with my ex I didn't want it at all, for many years.

My sex drive has always felt quite low in the sense it’s reactive so I’m rarely desperate for sex but I do enjoy it when I have it and we have it regularly. I’m now post-menopausal and still really enjoy it. I don’t take HRT. I think for me, freedom from all worry about pregnancy, no matter how unlikely, has helped.

I’m very early 40s and my sex drive just keeps getting higher. Unfortunately my husband isn’t keeping up.

I have the quandary of having the urge and the itch, but unlike a man, I still need lots of foreplay to actually be physically warmed up.

I'm glad so many peri women are having lots of enjoyable sex!

Hooray!

I'm 45. I have less than no interest. It's not just my husband it's sex full stop. Can't be bothered with the idea of it. Not sure how we will navigate the next few years.

Do you not enjoy the feelings? The orgasms? The warm glow afterwards? The intimacy? Just curious

Why so?

I had both ovaries removed in my 30's and went into menopause very early. I'm now your age and have zero sex drive. No desire at all. No interest. And the lack of interest doesn't bother me, it feels perfectly normal, just like being interested in sex used to feel normal.

It's not a case of not enjoying the feelings - the feelings have completely gone. I know this is hard to get your head around if you're not experiencing it, but this is what it's like. One thing I do find is that younger women are often v judgemental about this and insist that it's a problem that must be fixed, and that if it happened to them, they would fix it, because they couldn't possibly have no interest in sex.

If you're interested and have a willing partner, crack on. If you're not interested and fine with that, crack on.

It's really not that big a deal.

I think there is a societal pressure these days never to lose libido. There is almost an expectation this would lead to divorce (or should do). And people who have never completely lost it don’t understand what it’s like.

I’m jealous OP. I’ve never really had that desire for sex. But it could be because I’ve never orgasmed from it and honestly I don’t feel much from PIV sex.