I have ADHD & am not coping with summer hols!

[Bigdipper]

Hello MN
I'm just looking for some support really, & to see if anyone else is experiencing similar.
I was diagnosed with ADHD a year ago, am medicated but still struggle to regulate & struggle a lot with change & massively struggle during school holidays. Always have.
I am a single mum & have raised my son alone for ten years (inconsistent dad, sees him occasionally, it's complicated & I do all the organising of coordinating of childcare etc)
Son is nearly 12 so more independent, but still need to schedule things while I work.
I have been off work the last two weeks, & go back next week. Has been a difficult time, am arguing with son every day almost & not coping well with keeping on top of housework, having other people's kids over, son not helping out at home, so I'm giving him jobs to do & he's resentful!! I am feeling overwhelmed & like son isn't getting enough stimulation & that I am not enough.
I am looking forward to going back to work as miss my routine, but ensuring son has enough social stuff lined up is exhausting!
Any words of wisdom/support so welcome!!

Have you struggled more since you got the diagnosis? Or have summer holidays always been like this?

School hols always tricky & stressful but ADHD worse since I've been peri-menopausal so feels more overwhelming over last couple years.

Sorry you're experiencing this. You ARE enough! Real life is real life and your son will be learning lots about that. You do not have to entertain him constantly.

I heard about an online community for parents who are neurodivergent the other day, that might help you feel less alone and give you some ideas?

So what worked before that has changed now? Thinking that through might help

Can you try and have a vague routine while you are off as well?

Try and match chores with some kind of reward. Tidy your bedroom then you can go out with jimmy / do the dishes then you can have screens time . That kind of stuff.

Do you get any time to yourself/do what you want to do?

I think you're just putting way too much pressure on yourself. We are all guilty of this but for you, you're trying to be all things to your child and you just can't do everything.

It might help if you reframe your thinking about summer holidays. Does your son really need so much activity - because I'm sure he's very busy during the school year. The holidays are yes an opportunity for fun days out but also for loads of relaxation and time learning how to do those things at home like cooking together. By this time of the summer I think most of us are day tripped out and tbh I'm not planning on arranging that much for my kids for the next couple of weeks. If they get bored then it's up to them to figure out something to do!