Mum of 3 who feels completely lost

[RHP85]

I'm a mum in my late 30s, married for 6 years, We both work full time and our children are school aged.

The start of last year I broke down to my husband, I layed every thought, doubt and feeling on the table to my husband, everything! How I felt alone and unsupported emotionally and physically with the mental load of running a family and all the other everyday life stuff.
He told me everyone is in the same boat and we just need to get on with it, it will sort it's self out if I didn't worry so much but he'd pick up the slack at home and do more to help me,
Small changes happened but i didn't feel like it was enough, but I hid it all away, not talking about it, faking smiles and just shutting up. I carried on this way until earlier this year when I just couldn't take it anymore. I spoke with my partner again and it turned into a massive argument and I told him I wasn't going to continue feeling like this and I can't hide away my feelings anymore. I said I needed space from our relationship.

We spilt the week up with the children, each doing a equal share of school runs, making tea and all the other home life stuff. (we'd each take a few nights away from home when it was other turn with the children)
I had time to continue with my studies (also working FT) and meet friends sometimes, gping to appointements without the children. I felt alittle like my old self. We managed to keep the children's lifes as uninterrupted as possible.

I got alot of mixed advice from friends and family in regards to my relationship, some of those closest to me telling me I'm making a massive mistake and I'll regret spilting up the family, and my children will emotionally suffer from it.

So now I've stopped the spilt weeks, we are living together again and my feelings are slipping back. I feeling lost, alone and like I can't talk about how I feel because I will be told the same stuff I have always been told. I feel like I have to put up and shut up, because I'm a mother and a wife this is just how it is supposed to be, And it will hurt my children if I break the family up. I'm so lost!!

You tried something and it seemed to be working for you, why did you listen to other people who are not involved in your daily grind?

It sounds as thought you need a cook and a cleaner and a job that you can go out to.

If it seemed to work for you when you split up the week. What did your partner think of this, did he find it easy or more difficult? Either way the outcome would be the same. A. This is easy enough I can pick up more slack even when we are functioning like a family or B. Ahh this is difficult I can see why my wife struggles, I should pick up more slack to help her! He needs to do more when you are together as a family. I have been with my partner 5 years and it's taken some time but he's always on board with my suggestions and sometimes he slips back to the back seat but some things will have stuck and then we just build on that each time. We are very good at communicating though and I think that's key, when you shared how you felt, did your partner say much about he feels. If you ended up arguing I'm assuming he got defensive, this could be that he doesn't feel that what he does is good enough... a response I have had from my partner before. X