Guy at work...

[Millionsofpeachespeachesforme]

A guy at work in a senior-ish role to me made it clear he had a crush on me, but never actually told me, just picked up on the vibe... lots of obvious signs (locking eyes for a long time, breaking touch barrier and so on...) I was about to throw myself I to getting to know him as I was picking up all the signs.... but now he's totally gone cold. Doesn't respond to my (work) messages, doesn't stop by my desk to chat anymore. He still keeps looking at me, but he's totally backed off. What should I do? Any ideas why the sudden change?

If he's not responding to work messages, then perhaps speak to him and ask if there's a reason for that.

For the rest, perhaps he's in a relationship and has cold feet, met someone else, who knows. Move on.

I'd steer clear! It maybe that someone has picked up on it and mentioned it to him, what's your policy at work for relationships?

I’ve been through something similar, can’t offer any advice sadly, but understand your confusion

He's long term married or in a relationship.

He got a kick out of flirting with you.

He's sensed your reciprocal interest and now he's thinking "oh fuck" as he's not seriously blooming for a relationship.

So he's panicking and ignoring you.

That, or his manager/colleagues have noticed him staring/touching and have told him to wind his neck in.

It's such a shame as I think we really clicked. I'm on the verge of leaving the company anyway, so I plan to move on. Shame some people play games, I thought that changed as you got older. Clearly, it doesn't.

Are you sure you haven't misread this? I've encountered many women who were touchy-feely, or who held eye contact, but they definitely were not interested. Just being friendly.

I'm usually pretty good at knowing the difference. I've usually been correct before when I've suspected someone likes me. It was pretty obvious, to be honest. So I'm sure I didn't miss read the situation.

Don’t shit where you eat. Move on.

Tell him you're leaving and ask if he'd be interested in meeting up afterwards? Assuming he's single

Sounds a bit creepy tbh, all that staring! Might have just wanted someone to make work more interesting with a bit of unspoken flirting but has pulled it back now you're leaving and there's no point. Not very professional ignoring your work messages though.

Who knows, you might hear from him on social media.

Could potentially be still interested but avoiding a personal conversation/ exchange of numbers actually at work on your last day.

After the numerous posts on MN about how women feel violated because a man in a perfectly good job has suggested feelings... and how its suddenly gotten awkward and now they feel like they need to leave, etc... is it any wonder?

He probably liked/likes you, but has had a wakeup call. If you didn't reciprocate the glances, smiles, hints, then he probably took the hint and has backed off massively. Better that than be brought into HR for perving, or whatever.

Men have been conditioned to not make the first move these days. I wouldn't!