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Original poster

How often do you see your siblings/ in law siblings?

20 replies

MrsWhistleD0wn · 05/08/2024 14:11

Just wondering how often everyone sees their siblings/ sister in laws/ brother in laws?

I see my brother once or twice a year, we live far apart and when I visit my DPs for a few days he pops in for the day with his partner.

The reason I ask is because when SIL, BIL & DN visit my in laws who live near us they seem to expect to see us most days they are here and take a huff when we don't go round or are busy with plans already.
I thought it was normal just to pop in for a few hours or the day and that was enough?

My FIL has come down with covid and didn't tell SIL & BIL till they came to their house and have taken a huff that this time we don't want to go over & risk getting poorly with it. We have a DD who is immunocompromised and could end up in hospital yet they seem to think we're being unreasonable not to go over and have mentioned that we're unreasonable not spending as much as we can with them on their previous visits. They don't plan days out or family BBQs it's literally just sitting in PILs very small house!

OP posts:
TipsyJoker · 05/08/2024 15:36

They’re being unreasonable. Do what’s best for your own family. I wouldn’t go to someone house who was sick for a visit. That’s being unreasonable too. If I’m sick I certainly don’t want to host visitors. They sound insufferable. I wouldn’t want to hang out with them at all.

Meadowfinch · 05/08/2024 15:39

I see my siblings about once every six months.

Your ILs obviously have different expectations, but you are not unreasonable to say no. Just tell them you already have plans and will see them one afternoon at the weekend.

Or invite them to come park running or swimming with you. I'm guessing that won't go down well.😆

Mrsjayy · 05/08/2024 15:41

I hardly see my sisters partner I usually see my sister at my mums every few months. My inlaws maybe once a year I wouldn't be visiting a sick "house" if your child is likely to catch it, the In laws are being ridiculous.

mindutopia · 05/08/2024 21:30

I haven’t seen my own brother in about 25 years. 😂 But I’d say we see BIL and his partner maybe 3 times a year. They come to stay with us, so yes, we are stuck with them every day, but I try to avoid them as much as possible and let Dh deal with it.

They don’t ever invite us to visit them (because it sucks hosting and is expensive, I’d guess!). If they came to stay with family nearby, dh might see them some days, and they might come to ours or meet up with us somewhere, but I definitely wouldn’t be there every day. Dh could decide for himself if he wanted to see them and take dc though. No way we’d be mingling with anyone with COVID though, or the flu, or a vomiting bug, etc.

DeclutteringNewbie · 05/08/2024 21:34

Sister, every 3-4 months or so for no more than an hour.

DH’s siblings, every 4-5 years?

Twistybranch · 05/08/2024 21:35

Weekly

whatonearthishappenin · 05/08/2024 21:36

I see my brothers weekly (at least). We also often go out to celebrate each others’ birthdays, concerts etc. would also meet up for a run and go on holiday together with our respective partners.

Countingcactus · 05/08/2024 21:40

It depends how well you get on with them, surely? I see people when I want to see them.

Presterjohn71 · 08/08/2024 00:22

I see mine on birthdays and at Christmas. It used to be more when the kids were younger but we tend not to have parties for them now. As we all get older I imagine it will end up just being Christmas and the odd wedding or funeral.

RafaFan · 08/08/2024 00:24

How long is a piece of string? Everybody will have a different answer depending on their circumstances, including how well they get on with their siblings. I'd love to see mine often, but we live in a different country so have gone as long as 5 years without seeing them in person. We were recently back home and one of my husband's siblings made absolutely no effort to see us, despite being offered multiple options to do so. No previous falling out or anything, they just couldn't be arsed. My husband was pretty pissed off.

Turophilic · 08/08/2024 00:26

Three or four times a year, but if we’re staying for several days we’d see my brother every day. Often to sit and chat, maybe a games session, cook a meal together or BBQ.. when they were younger we’d take the cousins out to a park or beach.

changedusernameforthis1 · 08/08/2024 00:29

You have to do what's best for you and your family.

I would love to see my Dsis more, but we live an 8 hour return drive apart and both have very busy lives, so we get to see each other around once or twice each year. We do message often and talk on the phone, however.

DottyLottieLou · 08/08/2024 07:50

They are being extremely unreasonable. Just ignore their huffiness. Stand firm.

Doggymummar · 08/08/2024 07:51

Twenty years ago my brother, 5years ago my parents, speak every few months to them but not my brother

DecoratingDiva · 08/08/2024 08:08

I don’t have any siblings but we see one of DH siblings every 2-3 years and the other maybe once a year.

BigDahliaFan · 08/08/2024 08:18

we all live far away from each other so if they came to visit we’d see them every day of the visit….

Mrsgus · 08/08/2024 11:10

Have you ever suggested that when they are over at your inlaws next about doing something other than sitting in PIL's house?
You could suggest an activity where there doesn't need to be much interaction between you if you really don't get along. Or something fun where you may find you do actually like them. Or you could even host a bbq as you mention they never do 🤷‍♀️
Thankfully we get on with both sides of our families and love spending time together.

MoodEnhancer · 08/08/2024 11:16

For family members who live in the same city, weekly or fortnightly, depending on everyone’s plans. For those further away, usually for a long weekend every 2 or 3 months.

OriginalUsername2 · 08/08/2024 11:46

Mrsgus · 08/08/2024 11:10

Have you ever suggested that when they are over at your inlaws next about doing something other than sitting in PIL's house?
You could suggest an activity where there doesn't need to be much interaction between you if you really don't get along. Or something fun where you may find you do actually like them. Or you could even host a bbq as you mention they never do 🤷‍♀️
Thankfully we get on with both sides of our families and love spending time together.

Sil and bil have the time on their hands to do all this thinking and planning.

It is annoying when people choose to move away and then expect people to drop their daily lives for them when they come back.

Wexone · 08/08/2024 20:34

own sis once a month own brother every 6 months (he is odd ) sis in law about once a month and bro in law and family evey 6 months as they live far away. however if we knew bro and law were coming down we would have made an effort to see them. we would go out for dinner or something. however wouldn't see them every day they are down. they have other things arranged. I don't get why they are huffy if they wanted to see you more than they should have suggested it earlier to give you more time to arrange. I would try and say kids have x y z on so can't come. but would in also encourage them to arrange something next time they come - depends if you want ti have a friendship or not ? you might have to be the organiser if you are if yoi don't I would nod smile and then ignore

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