Hi everyone. Am new to MN so a bit nervous posting here.
My DH and I have been separated since the beginning of October 2022.
There’s plenty of reasons for the split.
I hate slagging him off, but he is lazy, selfish and has a major drink problem.
He apparently doesn’t want to split but I can’t help but wonder is that because when we do eventually sell the house and go our separate ways, financially he could be worse off or that he has too many comforts at home? I don’t know that he would be financially worse off but he keeps going on about all he’ll be able to afford is a caravan to live in. He said that I could have the most money from the house sale so that I could buy a house for me and my DS.
Our DS is 19 and is severely autistic and cannot be left alone or will ever be able to live an independent life. He depends entirely on us. My DH has repeatedly said in the past that he’s scared of what will happen to our DS when we’re no longer around. And yet my DH constantly jeopardises his own health with his drinking. He also has sleep apnea and COPD. This is all brought on by his neglect of his health. Surely he’d want to look after his own health so to stay around longer for our DS?
His priorities are golf and drinking. There’s so much to do on the house before we can sell. I told him politely that I need him to help me get the house ready to sell and he said he would, but so far he’s hardly lifted a finger. The house needs painting outside but any holidays he books from work go on golfing holidays. So far he’s been on three (or is it four?) golfing holidays this year. And yet always says he doesn’t have time to do this and that. And since we’ve split, he’s going out more and more to play golf. He’s made no effort to try to salvage our marriage even though he knows it’s irreparable. Surely if he really didn’t want us to separate, he’d make some kind of effort? He told me he’d give up the drink, but when I said that he wouldn’t, he couldn’t argue back. He’s in denial about his drinking but he drinks every night. He drinks wine/and or lager, finishing off with whisky. The whisky he drinks is about £30+ a bottle and they last about a week. He bought and drank TWO inside a month a few weeks ago. He’s ALWAYS buying alcohol. He’s 55 but won’t live to see 60 the way he’s going. Anybody offer any advice about how to get through to him about his drinking and unwillingness to help with the house? Thanks in advance.