Am I crazy?

[TooConfusedToo]

DP has gone out with his friend. I messaged him a picture which hasn't gone through (1 tick). Part of me thinks why is his data off, part of me remembers sometimes in your pocket you have no signal and the other part of me thinks maybe he's up to no good, and if that's the case there is nothing I could do to change it any way. I don't feel particularly stressed by it not going through but my past tells me I should. I just can't go through feeling that rollercoaster again after my ex who treated me awfully. I just won't allow myself to feel that low ever again. Which leads me to wonder if I'm crazy? Sorry if this doesn't make a lot of sense.

You’re describing your fears. They have nothing to do with him or the message that’s undelivered. It’s your past talking.

I guess there’s a backstory? My assumption would be that my partner is somewhere without reception, so there must be more?

He’s gone out with his friend, why are you trying to interrupt his evening? Is it an emergency, does he desperately need to see this photo before he gets home?

As we don't the context of your relationship, it's hard to say more. What kind of relationship do you and your partner have? Has he ever done anything to make you doubt him? If you often feel so anxious over such seemingly small matters, then it might be useful for you to seek therapy, so you can uncover the reasons and learn to manage your feelings positively. Else, it is likely that you will start projecting your fears, which will negatively affect your relationship.

It's not an issue in our relationship to message each other. I saw something that he would find funny and pinged it across.

No real back story but I do struggle at times with how I used to feel with an ex versus now. I don't want to get hurt again. So the brain is working overtime but at the same time I know I can't do anything about it and he is likely just out of signal.

How long have you given it to start worrying? A few mins or a few hours?
Im an anxious person due to various life traumas and if my message doesn’t go through I instantly imaging a car crash. It’s awful so I feel your pain but try not to stress.

@KaleQueen an hour or so. We don't live together and I have the catastrophic thought process too. Something I've long suffered and then with the ex I've got a warped sense of things now. I just don't want to get back to feeling how I have in the past.

Work on your insecurities.

That's all.

@C1N1C sometimes its not as simple as ‘work on your insecurities’
Sometimes people are so traumatised by past events they think the worst is always going to happen. It’s basic psychology. The OP came looking for reassurance I think. Not to be labelled ‘insecure’

@TooConfusedToo just stay cool, don’t fret. Get on with your evening. Im sure the message will land at some point. Get yourself a nice distraction and don’t follow up with another message, he’ll reply don’t worry xx

He may have switched data off for a bit of peace.

I have blue ticks and last seen turned off. Kind of eliminates this kind of anxiety.

I have lady online switched off for that reason

Well, to be very balanced and non emotive, I'd try to look at it factually.

Has he gone trekking on the moors. Likely no signal. Has he gone to Nottingham. Likely permanent signal

So on the basis he's in a town/ it's somewhere he should have permanent signal, then one of three things have happened. 1) He's in an underground bar or some absolute anomaly that it's unlikely to be. 2) he's deliberately made his phone uncontactable. 3) his phone has become uncontactable but not deliberately, ie run out of battery.

So on the basis it's option 2 or 3, no you're not going crazy. It might be completely innocent. But it's by no means crazy to think it's not.

Last*

I know what you meant 🤣. I just think it causes more problems, I mean why, unless maybe you wanted to check on kids in which case you can turn it on. Otherwise you just give yourself something to get compulsive and analytical about.