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Original poster

Need opinions on this…

17 replies

NotNot · 04/08/2024 08:51

I have a gut feeling but feel like I need validation that I’m not crazy.
I was using my DH’s laptop for some admin and noticed he had recently googled “best bumble intro lines” or something along that. I immediately thought that was odd and maybe it was a pop culture article but no he had actively searched it. There wasn’t anything else alarming. But then I had a look at his downloaded apps and over the last few years there have been several dating apps downloaded including bumble. Coincidentally all while on business trips.
I confronted him and he’s adamant he hasn’t downloaded them, hasn’t cheated, etc etc.
thoughts…?

OP posts:
ouch321 · 04/08/2024 08:53

I think you already know the truth of the matter I'm afraid.

Zonder · 04/08/2024 08:54

So sorry.

isthismylifenow · 04/08/2024 08:54

What does your gut feel tell you?

I think you know deep down.

Of course he will deny when asked outright.

Has anything changed in your relationship recently?

AlexandraJJ · 04/08/2024 08:55

You’re not crazy. You have evidence on 2 devices so even if the phone was bought second hand the download history would be linked to his account. If you know he has a regular password you could always try one of the apps and log in as him to see if there’s any further evidence but honestly with what you’ve discovered I can’t think of any other explanation than he’s done this himself and is or has been actively looking outside the relationship.

Original poster
NotNot · 04/08/2024 08:55

isthismylifenow · 04/08/2024 08:54

What does your gut feel tell you?

I think you know deep down.

Of course he will deny when asked outright.

Has anything changed in your relationship recently?

Edited

That obviously he has downloaded them! They don’t just appear, I’m not stupid. But am not sure on anything else

OP posts:
OtterMouse · 04/08/2024 08:56

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

TheBottomsOfMyTrousersAreRolled · 04/08/2024 08:57

Well, you know he did download them because you saw it for yourself, so you know he is lying. He knows that you know he is lying. Because you have seen it. The reason he is lying is because you know he cheated on you, repeatedly, but if he puts enough doubt in your mind you wont upset the applecart.

TheBottomsOfMyTrousersAreRolled · 04/08/2024 08:58

NotNot · 04/08/2024 08:55

That obviously he has downloaded them! They don’t just appear, I’m not stupid. But am not sure on anything else

Show quote history

What purpose do you think he had for repeatedly downloading dating apps while working away?

EightChalk · 04/08/2024 08:58

TheBottomsOfMyTrousersAreRolled · 04/08/2024 08:57

Well, you know he did download them because you saw it for yourself, so you know he is lying. He knows that you know he is lying. Because you have seen it. The reason he is lying is because you know he cheated on you, repeatedly, but if he puts enough doubt in your mind you wont upset the applecart.

I was going to post something very similar to this - you don't just know he downloaded the apps, you also know he lied. Whether he met up with anyone or not, he still lied.

undercoverdale · 04/08/2024 08:59

Am sorry about this. But you don't need to ask. He's cheated, or at the very least intends to, and at the very very least or is getting off on the thought and pretence of doing so engaging with real women. All would mean the end for me.

SamW98 · 04/08/2024 09:00

You know the answer. Hes been looking for hook ups when he’s working away - sadly it’s a common theme.

NCfor24 · 04/08/2024 09:00

He's obviously downloaded them.

I'd appear to accept his explanation for now if you can maintain the act, and then decide what you want to do. He may not have done anything but it shows intent. It all comes down to where you draw your line.
However, you don't need proof to leave him. You can leave for any reason or no reason, so know that when deciding.

Original poster
NotNot · 04/08/2024 09:02

I know I’ve blown my cover but I just couldn’t keep it in. Think I need to pretend I accept his response for now while I figure my shit out

OP posts:
StormingNorman · 04/08/2024 09:06

If you need to reconfirm, go into the App Store on his phone/iPad and search the apps. If they’ve been downloaded before they have a cloud with an arrow rather than a “get” button to download them (again).

Specso · 04/08/2024 09:07

I’m not sure there’s any room for confusion here.

He’s downloaded dating apps while on business trips because he’s thinking about cheating/wants to cheat/has cheated.

He’ll admit nothing but why else would someone do that.

Original poster
NotNot · 04/08/2024 09:07

StormingNorman · 04/08/2024 09:06

If you need to reconfirm, go into the App Store on his phone/iPad and search the apps. If they’ve been downloaded before they have a cloud with an arrow rather than a “get” button to download them (again).

Yes this is how I found it. And the download dates coincide with business trips

OP posts:
StormingNorman · 04/08/2024 09:13

I’m sorry. I can’t see how it wasn’t him. Agree with you and others, try to pretend you believe him while you decide your next steps. What a shitbag.

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