My marriage is over it has been for years, I've been asking him to move out for at least two years and he won't. He says he has nowhere to go.
I'm looking for some practical tips on what I need to do in order to leave. We rent our current property, have 3 children under 9 the youngest of whom is 3. I have family near by but there is no way they'd have us and I couldn't do it to them as it would without doubt destroy their marriage as my DF cannot tolerate my children for more than a couple of hours.
My husband has been financially abusive among other things so I have no savings and a lot of debt (about 10k which was mainly him but stupidly in my name)
I've set up my own bank account that my wages go into and just pay a set amount into the joint account. Unfortunately because he is financially irresponsible I probably only have £200 spare a month after I've paid for food and petrol and bills.
I really don't want to have to take the kids to a hostel but the average rent of a 2 or 3 bed house in our village is £1400+ so potentially I'd have to look at moving myself and the kids somewhere cheaper, which would also mean moving their school.
In terms of practicality I work weekends and he works mon-fri so we don't pay for child care. I'm not sure he'd agree to have the kids that often so I've no idea what I'd do about work/child care either, I have a feeling he'd go non contact as he's barely involved with the kids.
I'm guessing the first place to start is trying to make some savings so I can afford a deposit on a place?
Is it expensive to get a divorce? Can I divorce him whilst we are still living together?
I keep thinking I'll just have to put up with it until my youngest can move out then I can move myself into a flat but I can't face another 15 odd years of living like this.