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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I going mad? What is going on with me?

4 replies

milkyway512 · 03/08/2024 00:29

im going into therapy soon, im 24 but until then i dont have many other avenues of support as my relationship with my mother suffers when i talk about stuff she doesn’t think exists/is real.

Ive spoken about this before on here, and people told me it was my OCD, which I believed but the doubt has come back.

basically, I dated this man for about a month, but it was really intense and full of what I now know as love bombing. I ended it because of these red flags, twice, and then never saw him again. I have a feeling he may have slept with my old best friend from school during this time, as they could have met via Instagram.

I have this awful gut feeling that never goes away, it’s like a feeling of dread and sickness. I’m not sure if they’re intrusive thoughts or what, but my mind cannot stop pondering on whether they’re together and sleeping together even though I have zero evidence. The thoughts materialised when I saw him look at a woman that looks like my old friend, then he looked at me and sort of smiled in a weird way. I then wondered if they’d be good together and I thought they would. I’m upset and heartbroken about it as if it has actually happened and I have proof. I feel like I hate my old friend and this man who I barely even knew. It’s just he created this false sense of intimacy very early on, so it’s hard to get that out of my head when I don’t date very often as I don’t get that much attention from men that I know of.

i know it’s silly to still be upset about someone I dated for a month 3 years ago, but for some weird reason (I don’t know what’s wrong with me) it has hurt me so badly. I feel wounded. And I don’t even know if this has happened or not, but I am just going about my day and my stomach gets this twinge and this knot, and a hot heavy feeling in my chest and I think “they’re shagging” or “they’re in love” and then sometimes I almost feel how in love they are in my own body. Or I get this really strong feeling that they know each other and are in love.

im utterly convinced they are, utterly utterly convinced. I don’t know what to do as I don’t want to believe it’s true, but I feel like it is. It wouldn’t be too much of a problem if they were dating, but my mind cannot stop giving me thoughts about it, and it makes me jealous because I am no where near to having a partner. If I’m honest I’m very very jealous and it hurts.

ive asked my friend if they’re dating and she says she’s never met anyone by his name and they’ve never dated. Should I trust her? My mum also says they’ve never dated and never met.

please be honest. I know I may be silly as to a lot of people this isn’t real, but I always read that you should follow your gut etc. and this is what my gut is saying. How do I resolve this? Thank you

OP posts:
PeriIsKickingMyButt · 03/08/2024 00:31

This is your illness. All of it. Can you raise it with your therapist?

milkyway512 · 03/08/2024 00:37

PeriIsKickingMyButt · 03/08/2024 00:31

This is your illness. All of it. Can you raise it with your therapist?

I haven’t got a therapist yet, but I start a new job soon and once I’m earning some money I will definitely start. Thank you for your response :) I think it is as well

OP posts:
HousedInMySoul · 03/08/2024 00:41

Yes it is definitely your illness. Could you try and do some mindfulness meditation to give yourself a bit of a break from the constant thinking? It sounds absolutely exhausting x

JC03745 · 03/08/2024 01:07

You said in your OP you are starting therapy soon- how soon?
I'd be telling them you are having obsessive thoughts from a very brief fling 3 yrs ago and still can't move forward with day to day life.
I agree- you need mental health support OP and I'm glad you have it coming very soon x

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