I know its right thing to do - I didnt pursue Her

[raj135]

Hi - I am not single and I met someone else on a dating app and we met and been seeing for 4 months. In that 4 months I noticed my. health go down, work/career take a hit, my hobbies take a hit, my contacts with family take a hit. - you get the idea. We met a number of times and each time i said to myself, - that was the last time, I feel Im satisfied that i got attention. But a week later we were planning another meet up. But now I have said No and thanked them for good memories and blocked numbers and deleted.

Anyone been through this and after they have done this that they start to feel better and not under a spell or something where your whole life around you takes a hit.

Are we chasing short term pleasured for longer term problems all around our lives?

Comments please

Just posting again

Would love some thoughts on people who left an affair and then felt glad they did as their life improved overall

Why were you on a dating app when you're not single?

Why are you deceiving people?

Would love some thoughts on people who left an affair and then felt glad they did as their life improved overall

I would imagine that not being a cheater would make you feel better about yourself.

Why are you on a dating app if you’re not single?
does your partner know you’re a liar and embarking on emotional affairs

You were on a dating app. No one in a relationship goes on a dating app if they don't intend to cheat. Just going on a dating app is a huge betrayal then you cheated. You're posting like you've just fallen into this and deserve praise for ending things, but you aren't single and went on a dating app. You pursued this. How about some concern for the life and happiness of the person you're in a relationship with, who you cheated on and lied too and betrayed?

You're a cheat, aren't you?
What do you want people to say?

You’re on a dating app despite being single so you’re actively looking to cheat. It’s people like you who ruin peoples online dating experience.

Did this other person know you are attached or did you lie to her?

You say you are satisfied that you got attention - how pathetic that sounds using a third party to validate your shallow self worth

If you’re looking for anyone to say aww bless you well done ending things here’s a round of fucking applause - you’re in the wrong place.

So going by your other thread, where most of your posts were deleted, you've been married for twelve years.

What were you doing on a dating app?

Do you expect us all to congratulate you for ending your tawdry little affair?

Perhaps learning to take responsibility will increase your self esteem. This isn't something that happened to you; this is something you did.

Wow, you feel better when you're not being a piece of shit? What a shocker! Who'd have thunk it. You should write a paper or something, I'm sure the science behind "why do I feel better when I'm not being a massive cunt?" would make for an interesting read!

Why do you still want to be married if you want to be with someone else?

I think you need to really examine how you ended up in this position.

You are in a relationship and were on dating Apps. Why?

At some level your existing relationship is unsatisfactory for you, so you need to understand why that is. In the first instance you will come out with the usual nonsense of my wife doesn’t understand me/give me the sex I want/ yadda yadda yadda, but you need to dig way deeper than that. In terms of why you took the easy option rather than having the guts to either work honestly on the relationship or leave it.

If your wife doesn’t understand you (a) are you sure she doesn’t actually understand you perfectly well and that makes you defensive and angry and (b) what’s wrong with your communication that she doesn’t, plus what can you do about that.

Do your actual partner a favour and allow them to go and meet the decent person they deserve.

Just end your marriage. I can't understand why you wouldn't.

Get divorced/split up and let your poor partner have another chance to find someone who loves them. “Im not single but on a dating app” 🤔

If you’re happy in your relationship, why are you chasing other women?

Your wife of 10+ years will need STD tested. She should also know what you've chosen to do, so she can decide whether or not she consents to still being married to you.

I'm finding your thread hilarious, the replies are absolutely cracking me up! If you want to "feel better and not under a spell or something", find your cajones (wherever they're currently hiding out) and inform your wife of what you've been getting up to. What's preventing you spilling the lot like you've done here? I mean, you've lied to her face, run the very real risk of being spotted online, as well as potentially compromised her sexual health. Oh, and posted your anonymous confession here. As a grown man, how do you honestly think you're shaping up so far? I'll give you a hint..

It's in the comments.

You'll find there's a redemptive quality that only being 100% truthful can give. I think that's where you'll find the answers. She'll either respect your honesty and keep you in her life or she'll be permanently repulsed by your presence. Either way, you'll be at least be allowing her agency to choose for herself won't you? Stop hiding behind self absorbed posts on Mumsnet, it's bizarrely cringe, trust me on this. Face the music like the fully grown adult male you are. You'll feel like you did the right thing I guarantee.

Sounded like a shit writer for a crappy magazine.