Please help with any advice/opinions

[HelpPleasehh]

Hi there

Im new to this so I hope this reaches where I need it to.

Basically my boyfriend and I (30) have a 8 month old baby. We were home visiting my parents this weekend when we got into an argument, nothing major just bickering. I got out of the car as we were heading out and didn’t want to go on an argument. My boyfriend drove with the door open for a second out of the drive and then seen I was getting out and stopped. My family seen this and ran outside and got involved. I handed our baby to my sister (21) to take away while my boyfriend and I spoke and instead my mam and sister were arguing with my boyfriend who was angry at this stage for them coming out. They wouldn’t let him hold the baby at first until I was asked and said of course which he is upset about because he had to ask permission from my mam and sister. The argument escalated when I was in another room and according to my mam and sister my boyfriend was basically in my sisters face and there was shouting and screaming until he left then and flew home to where we live. He is denying this is the way it all happened and that my sister got in his space.

My family are against me being with my partner but as I’ve said we do have a baby together and I do want to try and make it work. We do argue and sometimes they can escalate but not physically.

I feel like a cornered rat as I was only coming for a visit and we live in a different country my boyfriend and I and our baby. I am now forced for the moment to stay in my mams house and everyone in my family does not want him around but they also are not happy with me bringing the baby to see his dad.

Any advice please I just want to fix this. He has apologised but it has gone ignored.

I want it to be my decision if I decided I was done and wanted to move not to be forced into this situation. My family are amazing too and are only looking out for me and I know this but my partner feels they are too involved.

Just to add my family we’re never keen on him due to arguments and the fact I moved to be with him.

Thank you!

Men are interchangeable, parents and wider family not so much! Have they meddled in other relationships or into other areas of your life? Are your parents controlling? or is it that maybe they are very genuinely concerned for you?

I think they are genuinely concerned but also not used to letting me make my own decisions. I’ve been moved out over two years so now being back home it’s straight back to unwarranted advice from parents and siblings really :(

Your family are concerned about your and your child's welfare and rightly so.
Your partner hasn't exactly given a good impression. Screaming in your sisters face, stomping off home.
You say your arguments escelate but are not violent. And I say not yet as it's only a matter of time.
Do yourself a favour. Sit down and have a long think about what you want, what's best for your child. Do you want them growing up in a home where the parents are screaming and arguing with each other?
That's not what a loving relationship should look like.

His behaviour was unacceptable but is pushing the conversation to your family's reaction to take the heat off him. That isn't a normal level of bickering from what you've described, and your baby was witness to it!