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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Does attraction grow ?

3 replies

Pinkflowersxo · 02/08/2024 12:21

I have just come out of a very toxic / violent relationship I am not trying to date now as I am going through counselling and trying to heal first.

However, things are starting to come up for me as in my choice in partners in the past I was 19 the last time I was single and would go for the "bad boys" I am aware now of course at the age of 28 this absolutely not something I wish to continue.

I really value the small things now , a good man who helps me , even the smallest things like makes cups of teas if I want one ( my last relationship was awful) but in ger al makes my life easier.

I just wondered what everyone's thoughts were on attraction. People would say you just are not attracted to nice guys but that's not true. I believe that you can be attractive without necessarily being what society deems as "attractive" .

What I'm asking is can attraction grow ? If you met somebody who is a really nice guy but you're just not sexually attracted to him should I feel guilty about that ? Because I do.

I have met someone who is nice a really nice man , he models but I just don't feel sexually attracted to him. It's not because he's nice why I'm not attracted to him. I think it's more his personality there isn't much chemistry.

I don't want 6 foot , six pack , lots of money. But I don't want to be with somebody I'm not attracted to.

Just asking for opinions 🙈🤍🤣

OP posts:
chouxchoux · 02/08/2024 12:33

In my experience, yes it can (which of course doesn't mean it will for you).

My DP and I met on a dating app; circumstances meant we weren't able to meet for 6 weeks. We'd built up an emotional connection in that time. He didn't knock my socks off physically when we did finally meet, and I questioned whether I truly did fancy him; but now I think he's the sexiest man on the planet, and I can't believe I ever felt differently. 😂

Pinkflowersxo · 02/08/2024 12:38

chouxchoux · 02/08/2024 12:33

In my experience, yes it can (which of course doesn't mean it will for you).

My DP and I met on a dating app; circumstances meant we weren't able to meet for 6 weeks. We'd built up an emotional connection in that time. He didn't knock my socks off physically when we did finally meet, and I questioned whether I truly did fancy him; but now I think he's the sexiest man on the planet, and I can't believe I ever felt differently. 😂

Aww this is lovely. To be honest my horrible ex we were together for 9 years I wasn't sexually attracted to him to start with. It's so funny to say now it's so ironic but it was his "personality" that I fell for. I then became so attracted to him. It's like the guy I'm talking to now he's really good looking , 6 foot , amazing body, but I'm just not attracted to him... instantly. I wondered if you had a good emotional connection if this grows I guess it does xx

OP posts:
maldensol · 26/08/2024 16:06

keep at the counselling op and take.your.time

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